There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is argued lessons that
not
related to Add a missing verb
are not
academic
should be removed from the school curriculum. Fix the agreement mistake
academics
This
essay disagree
with that opinion because we can identify Change the verb form
disagrees
someone
talents from non-academic Change noun form
someone's
subjects
and and can advance the talents earlier.
Firstly
, people have different types of talents, some have good memory but lack of
athletic ability, Change preposition
apply
while
the other have good flexibility in their body movement but takes
a lot of effort to think or answer academic Correct subject-verb agreement
take
question
. Fix the agreement mistake
questions
Subjects
like physical education can make someone know their favorite
or hidden Change the spelling
favourite
talent's
Change noun form
talents
,
because they usually will take it very seriously when they have Remove the comma
apply
ability
in that.
Add an article
the ability
For example
, one of my friends, Ramon, he
was 11 at that time, he Correct pronoun usage
apply
need
Wrong verb form
needed
a
time to answer basic Change the article
apply
question
about basic general knowledge, but if we asked him to throw Fix the agreement mistake
questions
basketball
from 3 points line, he Correct article usage
the basketball
can
do that easily, with his basketball Wrong verb form
could
talent
he became a national player now.
Secondly
, if a person already knew
what their Wrong verb form
knows
talent
, learning
non-academic Add a missing verb
is, learning
subjects
in school such
as cookery or robotic
from Replace the word
robotics
early
age could advance their Add an article
an early
talent
faster and even can
make money from it. Verb problem
apply
For example
, there is a 6 years old kid from my country, Indonesia, that
can make small and useful machines from the lesson that was taught in Robotic Correct pronoun usage
who
subjects
at school, he gathered the materials within
the local shops, Change preposition
from
the
machine that he made was for turning off the bed lamp with the clap of his hands and now he trying to make more bigger machines.
Correct word choice
and the
To conclude
, learning subjects
that not
related to Add a missing verb
are not
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
also
very useful, because it can identify someone's Add a missing verb
is also
talent
and even can
improve their Verb problem
apply
talent
at early
age.Add an article
an early
Submitted by sumitros97 on
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introduction conclusion present
Work on a stronger introduction to clearly outline your position from the beginning. Also, ensure that your conclusion directly reflects on the points discussed.
logical structure
To improve logical structure, organize your ideas clearly and ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next one. Use transition words to link ideas together.
supported main points
Well-supported main points with relevant examples, such as the examples of Ramon and the 6-year-old kid from Indonesia.
complete response
Complete and comprehensive response to the task. You addressed different aspects of the topic, providing reasons and examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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