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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the population size, birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. https://writing9.com/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.writing9.com%2Ff9d6600c48d153943878eff0d17c6886.png&w=640&q=75

The line graph below shows the population size, birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. https://writing9.com/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.writing9.com%2Ff9d6600c48d153943878eff0d17c6886.png&w=640&q=75
#line #population #size #birth #rate #death #england #wales #summaries #information #features #comparisons #a% #f% #fimages #com% #ff #c #eff #png&w= #&q=
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The line chart provides key information about population size,
birth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 and death
rate
Use synonyms
 in England and Wales between 1700 and 2000. The units are measured in millions and
rate
Use synonyms
 (per 1000
Correct your spelling
people
peple
Correct your spelling
people
)
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 ratio experienced
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
substantial growth over the years.
In addition
Linking Words
, there was a gradual
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
 in
birth
Use synonyms
 and death
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, population size
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 until
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
 10 million
the
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 slightly
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 to approximately
fifth
Correct article usage
a fifth
show examples
. After that, soared to the maximum value which
is 50millions
Correct your spelling
was 50 million
 by 2000. In terms of
birth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
, it
initially
Linking Words
 starts from 30 percent
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 40
rate
Use synonyms
 in 1750
then
Linking Words
 remains constant by 1800.
Afterward
Change the spelling
Afterwards
show examples
, it dropped to nearly 22
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
 jumped to about 34% by 2000.
Similarly
Linking Words
, death of
birth
Use synonyms
 showed the same pattern with less
rate
Use synonyms
 until 1950
then
Linking Words
 remained constant
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
 2000.
Submitted by n.a.s.2 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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