You live in a small town of 10,000 people. A large green area in the centre of town is undeveloped. The city has sent out an opinion survey to see what residents would like to have built-in that area. City Development Survey: Option A: Shopping Complex: This shopping mall would include restaurants, a large supermarket, and a movie theatre. Option B: Recreational Park: This park would include a sports complex, a large green area, and a small petting zoo.

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In my opinion, the city should utilize the available green land for building a recreational plaza. There are two primary reasons for choosing a recreational place over a shopping complex:

need

Correct article usage

the need

show examples

Change preposition

for

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outdoor activities and

less

Fix the agreement mistake

the lack of

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finances required.

Firstly

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, as a long-term resident of

this

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city, I have personally witnessed the infrastructural development of the surrounding area and I believe our locality already has two big existing shopping complexes which not only include several dining options but

also

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a movie theatre and supermarket.

Linking Words

Whereas

Correct word choice

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on the other hand

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, you hardly be able to see a sports complex for outdoor activities. In my view, a recreational place would bring a positive change in the local community, encouraging our offspring to engage in sports, and avoiding the screens.

Additionally

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, a large green area can be utilized by the elderly for walking and for some relaxation exercises,

moreover

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, a zoo will add an interesting option for a picnic where not only endangered animals can find shelter but

also

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growing children can have exposure to nature.

Secondly

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, a recreational

park

Use synonyms

would require less finances as compared to a shopping complex. A recreational

park

Use synonyms

will not only bring positive change to the local community, but

also

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add

Change preposition

apply

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to the income of the city from memberships to the sports complex and, tickets from the

park

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, and zoo.

Finally

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, considering all the discussed points I prefer a recreational

park

Use synonyms

over a shopping mall. Thank you for the opportunity to contribute my feedback.

hassan05.quadriThu Jun 13 2024

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task achievement

Your essay generally addresses the prompt well, but it would benefit from providing more detailed explanations for each of your points. For example, give specific scenarios or data to support your points, such as statistics on how recreational parks benefit communities or the cost differences between a park and a shopping complex.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, try linking your sentences and paragraphs more smoothly. Use transitional phrases like 'Moreover', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore'. Also, ensure that each paragraph flows logically from the previous one and that each main point is sufficiently developed.

coherence cohesion

While your essay has a conclusion, it is quite brief. Summarize your main points again in a slightly different way and restate why a recreational park is the better option overall.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your choice and reasons for it, setting a clear direction for the essay.

task achievement

Your main points are relevant and well-chosen, focusing on community needs and financial considerations.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

246 words

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Some people think that the best way to improve safety is by reducing the maximum speed limits on vehicles others think there are other better ways. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Successful sport players can earn a great deal more money than people in other professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.