IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#worker #four #countries #workers #people #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The present table
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 us how temporary migrant workers increased between
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 2003 and 2006.
Overall
, there are
compars
Correct your spelling
compares
 about four
countrys
Correct your spelling
countries
: Australia, New
zealand
Change the capitalization
Zealand
show examples
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
,
additionally
Add a comma
additionally,
show examples
 the
last
 column presents numbers in scale per thousand people for each country about 2006.
Firstly
, Australia had 152 thousand
temporay
Correct your spelling
temporary
 migrant workers and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
this
 number to 219,000. The second line
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is about New
Zealand
,
this
 small country
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a
sighly
Correct your spelling
highly
slightly
 growth starting at 65,000 and reaching 87,000
migrants
 in 2006; In
Third
Change the article
the Third
show examples
 line,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
practly
Correct your spelling
practice
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a double of
migrants
 in 2006 when
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with 2003. It is 137,000 versus 266,000
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 that arrived from other places;
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
last
 Line,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
 have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
absoluty
Correct your spelling
absolutely
absolute
 increment in
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
migrants
, 678,000 in 2006
instead
 of 577,000 in 2003, but
proporcially
Correct your spelling
proportionally
 they
improve
Wrong verb form
have improved
show examples
less
Change preposition
by less
show examples
 than 20%. Now
analising
Correct your spelling
analysing
 the
last
 column the
scenary
Correct your spelling
scenery
change
Replace the word
changed
show examples
 and even New
Zealand
 has been
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 less increase, the number
os
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
migrants
 per
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 far weigh all other countries, is 21.1 versus, 10,7
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Australia, 4,4
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and 2,3
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. It Shows how much New
Zealand
 is more searched by
migrants
 than
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 countries, when we talk about
density
Correct article usage
the density
show examples
os
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
migrants
 related a number
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population.
Submitted by lucianocamilot on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words zealand, migrants with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • temporary migrant workers
  • trends
  • absolute numbers
  • per 1,000 people
  • growth rate
  • per capita
  • labor markets
  • economies
  • significant
  • imply
What to do next:
Look at other essays: