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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to carefully plan activities in their free time others think it’s a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your answer?

#people #plan #activities #time #it’s #waste
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Without a doubt,
time
 has been one of the most important aspects of
people
’s lives. Because of
this
, most
people
 tend to plan out how they would spend their
time
 wisely by making
schedules
 of what would have to be done for days, or even weeks to come. Yet, a handful of
people
 believe that making
plans
 seems to be a waste of
time
.
Hence
, in
this
 essay, I will discuss both views regarding
this
 issue and why I firmly agree with making
plans
 in order to maximize our
time
due to
 some reasons set out below. On one hand, it can be argued that making
plans
 takes out the leisure aspect
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our free
time
. But, by planning out our days, there are many benefits that we can enjoy.
For example
, we can increase the efficiency
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our
time
 spent.
Furthermore
, planning allows us to anticipate changes by enabling better preparation with a much more flexible
time
.
For instance
, creating a holiday itinerary can improve the
overall
 experience to be more enjoyable despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some change of
plans
 during the holiday itself.
However
, some
people
 believe that creating a plan itself is taking
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness out of
leasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
. They believe that leisure
time
 shouldn’t be about creating
schedules
 and
instead
 just enjoy the present moment and
time
.
For example
, some
people
 tend to spend their holiday relaxing in their hotel rooms
instead
 of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to foreign places and experiencing new things. In my view, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the leisure that we can get by neglecting
schedules
, I strongly believe that having a plan for our
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
show examples
 times is better in order to maximize our
time
 and the things we can potentially go through with the given
time
.
To sum up
,
although
 not having
schedules
 can give us more chill times,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 firmly believe that having
schedules
 is a better way to spend our free
time
 efficiently.
Submitted by kelly on

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cohesion
While the essay is logical and well-organised, try to make smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs for an even more cohesive essay.
task response
Make sure examples are very specific and relevant to the point you are making. This will strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points more effectively.
coherence
Work on vocabulary and grammar to minimize occasional inaccuracies and improve the overall readability of your writing.
intro conclusion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively outlines and sums up the main points discussed.
logical structure
The main points are well-supported and there is a clear logical structure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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