Some people think that manufactures and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging.

#people #malls #products #responsibility

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It is a popular thought that

manufactures

Replace the word

manufacturers

show examples

, supermarkets and stores have the responsibility to sell

products

Use synonyms

that have less packaging

while

Linking Words

others argue that

cityzen

Correct your spelling

citizens

citizen

are responsible for buying fewer packaged

Use synonyms

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both

side

Change to a plural noun

sides

show examples

and give

opinion

Add an article

an opinion

the opinion

show examples

that it is the

manufactures

Correct your spelling

manufacturers

show examples

and

seller

Fix the agreement mistake

sellers

show examples

that

responsible

Add a missing verb

are responsible

show examples

for the packaging. On the one hand, using packaging can protect the

products

Use synonyms

and avoid breaking

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

things even in accidents. Market and

producer

Fix the agreement mistake

producers

show examples

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

many packaging

also

Linking Words

to prevent the possibility that someone might accidentally drop the

product

Use synonyms

and break it as they wander around the store and

this

Linking Words

is a benefit for both sellers and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consumers. Packaging

also

Linking Words

makes

products

Use synonyms

look more

profssional

Correct your spelling

professional

for special events and

also

Linking Words

attract

Correct subject-verb agreement

attracts

show examples

more customers,

this

Linking Words

will help increase the selling rate of the

products

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

use

Wrong verb form

using

show examples

many packaging can lead to many problems, one of them

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

pollution and

enviromental

Correct your spelling

environmental

problems.

Due to

Linking Words

the fact that people

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

usually throw the packaging away after

bring

Change the verb form

bringing

show examples

things home and because of

this

Linking Words

it will become a dangerous factor for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature when packaging today usually

make

Wrong verb form

made

show examples

from plastic and

nilon

Correct your spelling

nylon

For example

Linking Words

, if a customer

choose

Change the verb form

chooses

show examples

to buy a less packed

product

Use synonyms

products

Use synonyms

that use packing that

Add a missing verb

is freindly

show examples

freindly

Correct your spelling

friendly

th enviroment

Correct your spelling

the environment

, it will be less

harm

Replace the word

harmful

show examples

than the

product

Use synonyms

use

Correct pronoun usage

that use

show examples

nilon

Correct your spelling

nylon

and plastic packaging. If consumers

alway

Correct your spelling

always

choose less packed

products

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

the seller will

mnotice

Correct your spelling

notice

and soon change the packaging so that the

product

Use synonyms

can be bought. Another thing is that

sometime

Replace the word

sometimes

show examples

people can not choose a less packaging

product

Use synonyms

if the

product

Use synonyms

they need all have many packaging. So it is the

manufactors

Correct your spelling

manufacturers

and stores that are responsible for

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

problems.

Thus

Linking Words

, both the producer and customers have the responsibility

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue, i hold to the belief that the

manufactures

Correct your spelling

manufacturers

show examples

are the main factors

Verb problem

apply

show examples

reponsible

Correct your spelling

responsible

for

this

Linking Words

Submitted by [email protected] on Thu Jun 13 2024

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task achievement

The essay presents relevant ideas but they need to be developed more clearly and comprehensively. Including more specific examples would help strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. The transition between different ideas and paragraphs should be smoother to enhance coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure all parts of the essay are well-connected and flow logically. Consider using more transitional phrases and linking words to guide the reader through your arguments.

task achievement

Proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors. This will improve the overall readability and professionalism of your writing.

coherence cohesion

You have included an introduction and conclusion in your essay, which helps in structuring your response.

task achievement

The essay discusses both sides of the argument, which addresses the prompt effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Some people think that manufactures and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging.

Fully explain your ideas

A larger amount of advertisements nowadays are now targeted at children. Many people say this has negative effects on children and should there be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some belief that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Describe some of the problems overreliance on cars can cause and suggest a possible solution.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?