Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
era of modernization, many countries
are providing free medical treatments for their citizens. Simultaneously, this
type of free service can't to
be affordable for advanced medical Change the verb form
apply
treatment
. Why means this
will take
Verb problem
be
high
cost. I strongly support Correct article usage
a high
this
statement by giving the below mentioned
points.
Add a hyphen
below-mentioned
Firstly
, research in the medical field has grown in
Change preposition
to
the
advanced level. Nowadays, new Correct article usage
an
medicines
are introduced in the market for an unhealing
Correct the article-noun agreement
unhealing diseases
an unhealing disease
diseases
. Whilst, this
Change the determiner
these
medicines
are not possible to issue freely to the public. Hence
, some countries
are still strugguling
to cope Correct your spelling
struggling
this
problem. Change preposition
with this
Secondly
, most of the countries
which are economically strong also
not giving
their nationalities free Wrong verb form
give
treatment
for hyper
Correct your spelling
hyperdiseases
diseases
. To illustrate, Singapore and Malaysia countries
are still providing free health for outpatients only and major
Change preposition
for major
diseases
the patient should be paid half for the treatment
cost then
only the hospital will start the treatment
.
Moreover
, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
countries
are still not possible
to provide free medical Correct word choice
able
service
to their citizens for complex Fix the agreement mistake
services
diseases
. The reason behind on
Change preposition
apply
this
problem is most of the reasearch
in the medical field Correct your spelling
research
are
organized by the Correct subject-verb agreement
is
non governmental
and private sectors. Add a hyphen
non-governmental
Therefore
, the
private companies are spending Correct article usage
apply
lot
of money to invent Change the article
a lot
a
new Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
medicines
, so they are demanding high cost
for the Fix the agreement mistake
costs
medicines
. Thus
, most of the people will die yearly in all over the world.
To sum up
, free health treatment
is one of the essential requirement
for Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
public
. All the nations should take Add an article
the public
a
necessary steps and spend some money Correct article usage
the
for
research in Change preposition
on
a
medical field Correct article usage
the
also
impose some strict rules to hospitals and Correct word choice
and also
drug selling
companies to issue Add a hyphen
drug-selling
the
advanced Correct article usage
apply
medicines
to public
Add an article
the public
with
affordable rates.Change preposition
at
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task achievement
While your essay presents a clear position, it's important to further develop and elaborate on your points. For example, you mentioned advanced medical treatments and economic challenges, but providing specific examples and data could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that each main point is clearly and fully developed in its own paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary use. Some sentences were unclear due to errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'Why means this will take high cost' could be rephrased to 'This is because advanced treatments are very costly'.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which helps the reader understand your viewpoint from the start.
task achievement
You have made an effort to mention both general and specific details, such as the costliness of advanced treatments and the example of Singapore and Malaysia.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example