Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments

this

era of modernization, many

countries

are providing free medical treatments for their citizens. Simultaneously,

this

type of free service can't

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

be affordable for advanced medical

treatment

. Why means

this

will

take

Verb problem

show examples

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

cost. I strongly support

this

statement by giving the

below mentioned

Add a hyphen

below-mentioned

show examples

points.

Firstly

, research in the medical field has grown

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

advanced level. Nowadays, new

medicines

are introduced in the market for

an unhealing

Correct the article-noun agreement

unhealing diseases

an unhealing disease

show examples

diseases

. Whilst,

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

medicines

are not possible to issue freely to the public.

Hence

, some

countries

are still

strugguling

Correct your spelling

struggling

to cope

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

problem.

Secondly

, most of the

countries

which are economically strong

also

not

giving

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

their nationalities free

treatment

for

hyper

Correct your spelling

hyperdiseases

diseases

. To illustrate, Singapore and Malaysia

countries

are still providing free health for outpatients only and

major

Change preposition

for major

show examples

diseases

the patient should be paid half for the

treatment

cost

then

only the hospital will start the

treatment

Moreover

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

countries

are still not

possible

Correct word choice

able

show examples

to provide free medical

service

Fix the agreement mistake

services

show examples

to their citizens for complex

diseases

. The reason behind

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

problem is most of the

reasearch

Correct your spelling

research

in the medical field

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

organized by the

non governmental

Add a hyphen

non-governmental

show examples

and private sectors.

Therefore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

private companies are spending

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of money to invent

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

new

medicines

, so they are demanding high

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

for the

medicines

Thus

, most of the people will die yearly in all over the world.

To sum up

, free health

treatment

is one of the essential

requirement

Fix the agreement mistake

requirements

show examples

for

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

. All the nations should take

Correct article usage

the

show examples

necessary steps and spend some money

for

Change preposition

show examples

research in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

medical field

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

impose some strict rules to hospitals and

drug selling

Add a hyphen

drug-selling

show examples

companies to issue

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advanced

medicines

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

affordable rates.

Submitted by smsundaram57 on Thu Jun 13 2024

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task achievement

While your essay presents a clear position, it's important to further develop and elaborate on your points. For example, you mentioned advanced medical treatments and economic challenges, but providing specific examples and data could strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that each main point is clearly and fully developed in its own paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary use. Some sentences were unclear due to errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'Why means this will take high cost' could be rephrased to 'This is because advanced treatments are very costly'.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which helps the reader understand your viewpoint from the start.

task achievement

You have made an effort to mention both general and specific details, such as the costliness of advanced treatments and the example of Singapore and Malaysia.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe computer and mobile phone technology has changed the way we communicate positively while others feel it has had a negative impact on communication with others. discuss both views.

Television has had a significant influence on the culture of many societies. To what extent would you say that television has positively or negatively affected the cultural development of your society?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some students prefer to live with their parents while pursuing university education. However, others stay away from parents what ate advantages and disadvantages of living in either way?

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?