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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the stages in the food production chain of the United States. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the stages in the food production chain of the United States. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#stages #food #production #chain #states #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagram presents information related to how
Use synonyms
food
Correct article usage
the food
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 chain
produced
Add a missing verb
is produced
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 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the chart is that the process includes several steps, commencing with
food
Use synonyms
 production and culminating in delivering to the restaurants and households. The initial step focuses on collecting raw
food
Use synonyms
 materials from various resources
such
Linking Words
 as seafood, milk or vegetables to meet
human’s
Change noun form
human
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 demand. After that, collected
food
Use synonyms
 was put into
machine
Add an article
the machine
a machine
show examples
 and processed to remove harmful bacteria, ensuring the quality of it before transporting
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
 distribution by trucks. Moving to the next step, distributed ingredients are divided into two ways for selling, including restaurants and wholesalers
such
Linking Words
 as
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
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 or
market
Fix the agreement mistake
markets
show examples
, where they can be consumed in different ways. In the final step,
food
Use synonyms
 can be used to prepare meals at home for families and it can
also
Linking Words
 be cooked and served to diners in
a restaurants
Correct the article-noun agreement
a restaurant
restaurants
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 or at
in
Change preposition
apply
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a buffets
Correct the article-noun agreement
a buffet
buffets
show examples
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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