Some people think the main reason for success is hard work and determination. While other people think factors like money and personal appearance are also important. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#people #reason #success #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

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First of all, it is undeniable that some

people

believe the main reason for success is hard work

also

determination

however

, other

people

think factors like

money

also

personal appearance are

also

important and one of most is challenging issues in the field

overall

, it can be clearly seen that ,

this

essay will sides both discuss and will draw

According to

what noticed there are many of some

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

who think factors like

money

and personal appearance are important so, many crowd need

money

because live

as well as

the

people

and pay is important in life

in addition

personal appearance is important and that gives a good idea about other

people

and some nation look

that is

a simple idea,

for example

,many

people

have the

money

has an easy life and that become life is not hard

also

On the other hand

, there is a common belief there are a lot of

people

think the main reason for success is hard work

then

any person wants the task reason for the work can

people

think

then

again the hard job want many years of study

furthermore

a field of works are hard not changes in future will set for illustration the mangers and teachers and doctors In conclusion , after looking at both the points so , I would strongly endorse the most common solution ,

however

Add a comma

show examples

it can be concluded that they are reasonable and I think success is a hard job

also

I believe should children become successfully

Submitted by s97580011 on Thu Jun 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, and consider using topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction needs to be more clearly defined. Explicitly state what the essay is going to discuss and outline the main points that will be covered.

coherence cohesion

Make sure your conclusion summarizes the main points discussed in the body paragraphs and reaffirms your own opinion.

task achievement

While you do address both sides of the argument, your ideas are sometimes unclear. Work on expressing your ideas more comprehensively and avoid ambiguous phrases.

task achievement

Your essay needs more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. Concrete examples can help illustrate your arguments more effectively.

task achievement

You’ve attempted to discuss both views on the topic, which shows a good understanding of the essay requirement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Some people think the main reason for success is hard work and determination. While other people think factors like money and personal appearance are also important. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Fully explain your ideas

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.

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Nowadays,it is not only large studios that are able to make films.Digital film making now enables anyone to make films.Do you think this is a positive or negative development

Holding international games such as olympics is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effect, while others argue that it is a waste of money. Discuss both view and give your opinion.