IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many people think that job satisfaction is important in work. Do you think young people these days should be sure of job satisfaction before taking a new job or should they put salary first?

#people #job #satisfaction #work #salary #first
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Presently, more and more young people
likely
Add a missing verb
are likely
show examples
 to choose
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction as
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 before getting a
job
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there remains
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
 discrepancy that some people prioritize high income. From
this
Linking Words
 writer's perspective,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation should opt for
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary cause the benefits of it like they can
covering
Wrong verb form
cover
show examples
 their bills and save extra money each month rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction. First and foremost, it is contemporaneously perceived that a satisfactory
job
Use synonyms
 is one where
employee
Add an article
an employee
the employee
show examples
 feels happy in their position.
This
Linking Words
 is typically associated with the level of support, trust, appreciation and value and satisfied individuals may feel they receive a fair rate of pay. It is obvious that
Linking Words
this kinds
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
job
Use synonyms
 is extremely suitable for employees who just want to have a stable
job
Use synonyms
 and a good mix between work and personal life.
Arcording
Correct your spelling
According
 to staggering statistics, in most cities, the higher
workers
Correct article usage
the workers
show examples
 feel comfortable in their jobs
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
, the higher
rates
Correct article usage
the rates
show examples
 of people's happiness are.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 is a testament that
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best choice for
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation to select jobs.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
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task achievement
Make sure to directly answer the question in the thesis statement or the introductory paragraph. Clearly stating your position helps the reader understand your main argument from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Introduce clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve logical structure and cohesion. This will guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Use specific examples or evidence to support your main points. This adds weight to your argument and helps to illustrate your points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay with a summary of your main points and a restatement of your stance. This will give a proper closure to your essay and reinforce your position.
task achievement
The writer makes an effort to compare two different viewpoints, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The use of phrases like 'first and foremost' and 'nevertheless' help to organize the essay and indicate shifts in perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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