Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays people pay more attention to the development of
children
. They always
Add a missing verb
are always
concern
about Replace the word
concerned
the
school Correct article usage
apply
education
, but family education
is as important as school education
, so some people advice
Replace the word
advise
parents
to take courses for learning
how to treat their Change preposition
to learn
children
. I agree with this
idea since Correct article usage
the behaviors
behaviors
of Change the spelling
behaviours
parents
can have a big influence on young generations.
Taking parenting classes is a good way to learn how to be a parent. The relationship between parents
and children
is quite different from that between colleagues and the friendship
. It is the first time for new mothers and fathers to feed and educate a child. But a parenting teacher who has Replace the word
friends
alot
of Correct your spelling
a lot
experiences
can teach them to get the parenting skills as soon as possible and avoid doing dangerous or incorrect things, which is beneficial to their Fix the agreement mistake
experience
children
. For example
, parents
always say no during their education
, however
, a professional teacher will suggest them
Correct pronoun usage
they
to
say positive Fix the infinitive
apply
words
for encouraging
Change preposition
to encourage
children
to follow their requirements easily.
Besides
, people can share their parenting experience with teachers and classmates and update the current interests of children
and newest
educational methods. Correct article usage
the newest
For instance
, children
like to use hit
Correct your spelling
his
words
and make themselves look cool. Parents
who can speak new words
are likely get
close to their Add the particle
to get
children
. If they learn these words
in the
class, they may have a better relationship with their Correct article usage
apply
children
.
In conclusion, I suggest all mothers and fathers to
attend parenting Remove the particle
apply
class
as wellFix the agreement mistake
classes
,
because they can be more understanding and communicative, which is good for their family Remove the comma
apply
education
.Submitted by asllchkied on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The introduction is clear, but it could be more engaging by elaborating on why family education is crucial. Try to provide a more compelling hook.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitioning more smoothly between paragraphs and ideas. ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and links logically to the next one.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typographical mistakes to improve the overall readability of your essay.
task response
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance clearly.
coherence cohesion
You maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay, making it easy to follow your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!