Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people's health.To what extent do you agree or disagree

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The issue of residing in metropolises which can have a negative influence on
residens’
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residents’
health
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has
heightend
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heightened
heighten
people
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’s attention recently.
While
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this
Linking Words
statement is valid to some extent, I would contend that I partially do not have a consensus with
this
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idea. It is clear to note that not settling in urban
areas
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brings a wide range of benefits
for
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to
show examples
people
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’s
health
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care system. There are good justifications to implicate that
people
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cannot be impacted by
contaminated
Correct article usage
a contaminated
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environment. One compelling example
for
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of
show examples
this
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could be that abundant cities are occupied with vehicles namely automobiles and motorcycles, which lead to an acceleration of carbon
footprint’s
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footprint
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emission
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emissions
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compared to rural
areas
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. Most
people
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have to travel outside to do their
works
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work
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and
this
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harsh atmosphere can affect their
lung
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lungs
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and make it more difficult for them to
breathing
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breathe
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,
thus
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, their respiratory system can
be worsen
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worsen
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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.
Therefore
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, to handle
this
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problem,
people
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should switch from using those vehicles
than
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to
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more environmentally-friendly
transports
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transport
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such
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as electric cars or bicycles to keep
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature clean.
While
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the negative impacts of living in
metropolisis
Correct your spelling
metropolises
metropolis
metropolis is
can bring to
people
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’s
health
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are widely acknowledged, there are some tremendous effects that
people
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can miss out on if they do not reside in big cities. There are justifiable reasons to note that
people
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cannot get
immediately
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immediate
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access to the nearest hospital to
cure
Correct article usage
a cure
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when they have a bad disease. To be more precise, cities
are having
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have
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a wide range of hospitals and medical care systems with the most top-notch facilities, which can assist
people
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as soon as possible whenever they have
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
with their
health
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. For some
people
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who live in the countryside, it
is usually be
Change the verb form
is usually
show examples
more time-consuming for them to attend quickly to any medical care systems nearby as there is a small number of hospitals in those places.
Therefore
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, residing in
the
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apply
show examples
urban
areas
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can
be
Verb problem
make it
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easier for
people
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to cure their
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
as possible to prevent them
for
Change preposition
from
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being worsen
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worsening
show examples
. In conclusion, settling in metropolises can cause some negative impacts on citizens’
health
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,
however
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, they can get access to advanced facilities of medical
system
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systems
show examples
for the sake of their
health
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if they
chose
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choose
show examples
to live in urban
areas
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.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
Your response covers the prompt adequately, but it could be enhanced by addressing more specific counterarguments. Providing well-rounded examples and demonstrating critical thinking in reflecting on opposing views can further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The flow of the essay is fairly good, but it can be improved. Consider using more cohesive devices to ensure smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, ensure each paragraph maintains a single clear main idea which is explicitly linked to your main argument.
general
A few grammatical and lexical errors are present. Reviewing concord, tense usage, and word choice could improve the overall quality of your essay. Regular practice and feedback can help hone these areas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in maintaining coherence.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help in supporting your main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • respiratory problems
  • population density
  • stress levels
  • mental health issues
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • healthcare facilities
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • psychological well-being
  • recreational areas
  • social networks
What to do next:
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