Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people's health.To what extent do you agree or disagree
The issue of residing in metropolises which can have a negative influence on
residens’
Correct your spelling
residents’
health
has heightend
Correct your spelling
heightened
heighten
people
’s attention recently. While
this
statement is valid to some extent, I would contend that I partially do not have a consensus with this
idea.
It is clear to note that not settling in urban areas
brings a wide range of benefits for
Change preposition
to
people
’s health
care system. There are good justifications to implicate that people
cannot be impacted by contaminated
environment. One compelling example Correct article usage
a contaminated
for
Change preposition
of
this
could be that abundant cities are occupied with vehicles namely automobiles and motorcycles, which lead to an acceleration of carbon footprint’s
Change noun form
footprint
emission
compared to rural Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
areas
. Most people
have to travel outside to do their works
and Fix the agreement mistake
work
this
harsh atmosphere can affect their lung
and make it more difficult for them to Fix the agreement mistake
lungs
breathing
, Wrong verb form
breathe
thus
, their respiratory system can be worsen
Change the verb form
worsen
everyday
. Replace the word
every day
Therefore
, to handle this
problem, people
should switch from using those vehicles than
more environmentally-friendly Change preposition
to
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
such
as electric cars or bicycles to keep the
nature clean.
Correct article usage
apply
While
the negative impacts of living in metropolisis
can bring to Correct your spelling
metropolises
metropolis
metropolis is
people
’s health
are widely acknowledged, there are some tremendous effects that people
can miss out on if they do not reside in big cities. There are justifiable reasons to note that people
cannot get immediately
access to the nearest hospital to Change the adverb
immediate
cure
when they have a bad disease. To be more precise, cities Correct article usage
a cure
are having
a wide range of hospitals and medical care systems with the most top-notch facilities, which can assist Wrong verb form
have
people
as soon as possible whenever they have problem
with their Fix the agreement mistake
problems
health
. For some people
who live in the countryside, it is usually be
more time-consuming for them to attend quickly to any medical care systems nearby as there is a small number of hospitals in those places. Change the verb form
is usually
Therefore
, residing in the
urban Correct article usage
apply
areas
can be
easier for Verb problem
make it
people
to cure their disease
as possible to prevent them Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
for
Change preposition
from
being worsen
.
In conclusion, settling in metropolises can cause some negative impacts on citizens’ Change the verb form
worsening
health
, however
, they can get access to advanced facilities of medical system
for the sake of their Fix the agreement mistake
systems
health
if they chose
to live in urban Wrong verb form
choose
areas
.Submitted by hominhtrang995 on
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task achievement
Your response covers the prompt adequately, but it could be enhanced by addressing more specific counterarguments. Providing well-rounded examples and demonstrating critical thinking in reflecting on opposing views can further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The flow of the essay is fairly good, but it can be improved. Consider using more cohesive devices to ensure smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, ensure each paragraph maintains a single clear main idea which is explicitly linked to your main argument.
general
A few grammatical and lexical errors are present. Reviewing concord, tense usage, and word choice could improve the overall quality of your essay. Regular practice and feedback can help hone these areas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in maintaining coherence.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help in supporting your main points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.