Write about the following topic: Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. You should write at least 250 words.
In
this
present time, the use of technology is constantly on the rise, including the utilization of computer
globally. Even Fix the agreement mistake
computers
the
juveniles adopt to use Correct article usage
apply
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
for
Change preposition
on
their
daily basis, especially for playing Change the word
a
video
games
. There are many discussions that letting children
to
play Change the verb form
apply
video
games
would lead to negative effects rather than positive sides. In this
essay, the writer will elaborate the
implications of enjoying Change preposition
on the
video
games
for kids both are in
positive and negative impacts, and the treatments that should be taken to reduce the negative sides.
Verb problem
apply
First,
playing video
games
for children
can be medium
for them to learn to Correct article usage
a medium
english
language, especially if it Change the capitalization
English
was
not their first language. Wrong verb form
is
For example
, take Kevin as my nephew who is still in
7 years old. He managed to acquire some basic words in Change preposition
apply
english
Change the capitalization
English
due to
his routine on
playing Change preposition
of
computer
games
. In the process of joining video
games
, children
's brain
will try to find ways Fix the agreement mistake
brains
on
how to complete the game, even though they are not familiar with the language. Yet, participating of playing Change preposition
apply
video
games
also
contribute
to Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
train
their motoric system.
Change the verb form
training
On the other hand
, parents should monitor their children
regularly on using computers, especially video
games
. Sometimes, when kids play video
games
, they intend to be
Verb problem
become
addictive
Replace the word
addicted
then
forget about the time Correct word choice
and then
passed
. Correct pronoun usage
that passed
For instance
, something happened with Andri, one of my niece
. She has been too Fix the agreement mistake
nieces
addictive
to Replace the word
addicted
play
Wrong verb form
playing
games
on computer
, Add an article
the computer
a computer
then
she would cry out of
burst if her parent Change preposition
apply
take
that device. It can Wrong verb form
took
also
make them too tired after playing too long, then
ignoring to do
their other main tasks, Verb problem
apply
such
as study
.
In conclusion, giving access for Wrong verb form
studying
juvenile
to play Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
computer
games
will lead to positive effects, such
as learning new languages and training the
motoric skills. Correct article usage
apply
However
, that activity should be strictly scrutinized by adults to avoid the addictive
of playing Replace the word
addiction
video
games
.Submitted by panjiwara on
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task achievement
You have addressed both positive and negative impacts of playing computer games, and suggested measures to minimize the negative effects. However, ensure that your ideas are more comprehensively developed and include a variety of examples. For instance, you can discuss the cognitive benefits of video games beyond language learning, such as problem-solving skills or hand-eye coordination.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, but there is room to enhance logical progression. It's useful to start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. For example, the benefits and drawbacks could be more distinctly separated.
positive highlights
Grammar and vocabulary usage are quite good, but there are minor errors that affect clarity and flow. For instance, "let's children enjoy..." should be "lets children enjoy..." and "motoric system" should be "motor skills." Ensure to proofread and make slight corrections to avoid these minor pitfalls.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies both positive and negative impacts of playing video games and provides concrete examples to illustrate these points. Your personal anecdotes make the essay relatable and engaging.
task achievement
You offer practical solutions to mitigate the negative effects of video games, showing a balanced perspective. This approach is effective in achieving a complete response to the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Your structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes the essay easy to follow. This shows a good understanding of basic essay format.