: Experts say if old people spend time and get along with others and exercise every day, they will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the causes and solutions?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most professionals claim that living in harmony with others and having daily exercises will help old
people
healthier and happier,
while
there are still many elderly experiencing loneliness and insufficient physical fitness. There are a number of reasons behind
this
phenomenon and several solutions should be adopted to solve the problem. There are two primary causes why
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
are still alone and lack of physical exercise. One reason is that the generation gap makes the misunderstanding of the young and the old clearer in their views and
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
This
is because they may not nearly catch up with modern social trends with their children and teenagers.
For instance
, most elders do not know how to use smartphones or some high-tech devices,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
young
people
use these devices skillfully. In the advanced technical era,
Furthermore
, more and more elderly have a tendency to have a sedentary lifestyle because of the convenience of technology that brings
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
their living environment. So, they may mostly feel very exhausted and unhealthy.
Consequently
, not only their health but
also
their mood is slowly decreasing day by day. For these reasons, some measures should be taken to mitigate the problem of suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness in the old generation. One step is that the younger generation should be educated to understand, share and sympathize with the older one to have a strong connection with
people
who have experienced various objects in life.
Moreover
, members
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
families can
also
organize a family gathering so that all of them have more opportunities to spend time with others, especially aged
people
in order to let them know that they are not lonely. Another essential measure is to encourage the old to
have
Verb problem
do
show examples
more physical exercises every day by doing it with them since exercising together is capable of helping them be happier in some ways.
As a result
, the physical and mental health of older
people
have improved noticeably. In conclusion, a variety of causes of solitary existence and insufficient physical fitness should be applied
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
effective solutions to bring happiness and health
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
aged
people
.
Submitted by phamnhung275 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to expand on specific examples and case studies to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
The essay provides a thorough response to the prompt, addressing both causes and solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with appropriate explanations and some examples.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: