IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart shows the division of household tasks by gender in Great Britain.

The chart shows the division of household tasks by gender in Great Britain.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The illustration demonstrates how long
males
Use synonyms
 and females in Great Britain need to complete different household chores per day.
Overall
Linking Words
, compared with
men
Use synonyms
, women take more
time
Use synonyms
 to finish cooking and washing, cleaning the accommodation, looking after
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
, and doing laundry, with the
time
Use synonyms
 of working in the kitchen witnessing the highest rate.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 required a longer
time
Use synonyms
 doing gardening
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
taking care of pets, and remaining jobs. The average
time
Use synonyms
 spent on kitchen-related chores and cleaning accommodation is the most
time
Use synonyms
-consuming task for women, with 74 and 58
minutes
Use synonyms
 per day,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 only do it in 30 and 13
minutes
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, 20
minutes
Use synonyms
 is the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 playing with children of
males
Use synonyms
, compared to double the
time
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 females. Equivalent data can be seen in the
minutes
Use synonyms
 spent on doing laundry on the female side, which is 25
minutes
Use synonyms
, followed by the figure for
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the males
show examples
males
Fix the agreement mistake
male
show examples
 side stands at a mere 2
minutes
Use synonyms
 Precisely 49,5% is the data describing how long
males
Use synonyms
 need to complete pet caring and gardening,
while
Linking Words
 the women only use half of the
time
Use synonyms
 the
men
Use synonyms
 consume. The same figure but with
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
 extent can be considered in the
time
Use synonyms
 of remaining odd jobs, with 26
minutes
Use synonyms
 for
males
Use synonyms
 and approximately 10
minutes
Use synonyms
 for females.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, men, time, minutes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: