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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. We can learn from books, films, and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is a common belief that learning about other
cultures
Use synonyms
 by
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to other places is not essential because gaining knowledge about
cultures
Use synonyms
 can be done through
books
Use synonyms
,
films
Use synonyms
, and the
Internet
Use synonyms
.
Although
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 I understand the logic behind
this
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 statement, I still firmly disagree with
this
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 idea for some reasons which will be discussed below.
To begin
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 with, the most persuasive point is that learning through
books
Use synonyms
,
films
Use synonyms
, and the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is extremely convenient. The reason for
this
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 is that individuals can easily access the
Internet
Use synonyms
 to search for other
cultures
Use synonyms
 because the information is always available on
this
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 platform.
Similarly
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,
books
Use synonyms
 and movies are likely to give people knowledge about
cultures
Use synonyms
 anywhere and anytime.
In addition
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, these approaches are not excessively expensive.
This
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 is because
this
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 way does not require any high expense to learn.
For instance
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, studying through
books
Use synonyms
,
films
Use synonyms
, and the
Internet
Use synonyms
 does not require learners to pay for any costs
such
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 as the price of accommodation or airline tickets which must be done if a person wants to learn by
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to other places.
Therefore
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, it is not as expensive as the other ways.
Nevertheless
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, coming to other places in order to learn about other
cultures
Use synonyms
 has many benefits worth mentioning.
Firstly
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, learners are not likely to get wrong information which causes misunderstanding for them. To explain, they can approach
cultures
Use synonyms
 directly
such
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 as by communicating with local residents or participating in a part of their communities so they can acquire other
cultures
Use synonyms
 correctly.
Secondly
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,
this
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 method does not have any obstacles that induce individuals to learn toughly.
For instance
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, the obstacles can be language, words, and experiences so they can
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
 learners in a sense of adversity
while
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 they are studying through
books
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 and
films
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. In conclusion,
although
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 both methods have their advantages and disadvantages, I still strongly disagree with the idea which claims that learning through
books
Use synonyms
,
films
Use synonyms
, and the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is the better way than
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to other areas because I believe that the two methods are equally important.

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs. Make smooth transitions to maintain coherence.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific, detailed examples. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
general
Avoid minor grammatical errors and ensure that your vocabulary is appropriately varied. This can improve clarity and make the essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly outline your stance on the topic, which provides a sense of completeness.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced and well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive experience
  • cultural practices
  • social norms
  • first-hand interaction
  • personal connections
  • superficial understanding
  • misinterpretation
  • stereotyping
  • biased information
  • logistical constraints
  • virtual reality
  • online cultural exchanges
  • foundational knowledge
  • sensory experiences
  • emotional engagements
  • authentic cuisine
  • cultural festivals
  • local customs
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