IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Your english-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport. write an email to your friend. In your email recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn explain how your friend could learn this sport suggest that you both learn this sport together

#friend #lives #town #advice #sport #email
Dear Sara, How have you been? I never forget the time we had together at school. I was very glad when I found out you are living in my town. You have asked about learning a new sport here. I think tennis is the best option. Zanjan has an equipped tennis court and you can benefit from
this
 place. It can add joy and zest to your life,
in addition
, it can be a very good mood changer. To explain more, you can search for its timetable and tutors on the website. As I remember, at the beginning of each season, a new educational term has been started. Another subject I can mention about it is you can benefit from an initial discount for the first semester.
Last
 but not least, I think I should start a new activity because of my healthcare provider's advice.
Therefore
, I can get
a long
Correct your spelling
along
show examples
 with you next semester. It would be a blast! I am looking forward to receiving your response. best wishes, Mahshid
Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure, particularly in the explanation paragraph. Try to segment information more distinctly for better readability.
coherence cohesion
Improving the transitions between different points would help in maintaining a smooth flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task effectively, recommending a sport, explaining how to learn it, and suggesting shared participation.
task achievement
You have provided clear reasons for your recommendation and explained how your friend could get started, which adds depth to your response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose well.
task achievement
Using specific examples like 'search for its timetable and tutors on the website' and 'benefit from an initial discount' adds specificity to your essay, making it more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advice
  • recommend
  • suitable
  • learn
  • coach
  • lessons
  • tutorial videos
  • practice
  • tennis club
  • group
  • schedule
  • regularly
  • participants
  • tournaments
  • friendly matches
What to do next:
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