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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts illustrate the destinations of UK
graduates
Use synonyms
 and
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 who did not engage in full-time
work
Use synonyms
 after completing their studies in 2008. The data highlights the choices made by these individuals, including part-time
work
Use synonyms
, voluntary
work
Use synonyms
,
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
, and unemployment. In 2008, a significant number of UK
graduates
Use synonyms
 opted for
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
, with 29,665
graduates
Use synonyms
 choosing
this
Linking Words
 path, making it the most popular
option
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by part-time
work
Use synonyms
, which attracted 17,735
graduates
Use synonyms
. A notable number of
graduates
Use synonyms
, 16,235, were unemployed, indicating a substantial rate of joblessness among
this
Linking Words
 group. Voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 was the least chosen
option
Use synonyms
, with only 3,500
graduates
Use synonyms
 participating.
Similarly
Linking Words
, for
postgraduates
Use synonyms
,
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
 was the most common choice, albeit with a lower figure of 2,725 compared to
graduates
Use synonyms
. Part-time
work
Use synonyms
 was the second most popular
option
Use synonyms
, with 2,535
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 choosing it. Unemployment affected 1,625
postgraduates
Use synonyms
, a significantly lower number than
graduates
Use synonyms
. Voluntary
work
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 remained the least
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
show examples
option
Use synonyms
 among
postgraduates
Use synonyms
, with only 345 individuals engaging in it.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 both
graduates
Use synonyms
 and
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 showed a preference for
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
 and part-time
work
Use synonyms
, the numbers were considerably higher for
graduates
Use synonyms
. The unemployment rate was
also
Linking Words
 higher among
graduates
Use synonyms
, suggesting that
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 may have had better employment prospects.
The participation
Correct article usage
Participation
show examples
 in voluntary
work
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 was minimal for both groups, reflecting a lesser inclination towards unpaid
work
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, postgraduates, work, study, option with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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