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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The three pie charts show the proportion of four kinds of vehicles used in the UK in 1996, 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The three pie charts show the proportion of four kinds of vehicles used in the UK in 1996, 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#three #show #proportion #four #kinds #vehicles #uk #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given pie charts illustrate the percentage of four kinds of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 used in the
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 in different years,1996,1985 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest rate of using Private cars can be observed in 2005
while
Linking Words
 the opposite can be seen for Recreational
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in 1985.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, using Private cars accounted for 60% in 2005,
This
Linking Words
 figure for the same category in 1965 and 1985 was 40% and 55%
respsctively
Correct your spelling
respectively
. A
majoritey
Correct your spelling
majority
 of people
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a great tendency to
utlize
Correct your spelling
utilise
 public transport in 1965
whereas
Linking Words
 a minority of people
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
show examples
 to use Recreational
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in 1985. The proportion of those who
benefit
Wrong verb form
benefitted
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transport in 1965 and 1985
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 quite similar at 25% and 20% ,respectively.
more over
Correct your spelling
moreover
show examples
, using the Lorries and other commercial
vehicles
Use synonyms
 had the same amount in 1965 and 1985. The more
notice able
Correct your spelling
noticeable
show examples
 feature is that the lowest rate of using
vehicles
Use synonyms
 can be considered for Recreational
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in all of the years.
Submitted by salehmiri1995 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words vehicles with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion
  • Dominant
  • Fluctuations
  • Noticeable increase
  • Significantly decreased
  • Consistent rise
  • Continuous decline
  • Varied trends
  • Data illustrates
  • Common vehicle type
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