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Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #summarise #features #comparisons
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The provided line graph elucidates the information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 housing in
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
 in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia,
Thailand
Use synonyms
, and Indonesia between 1970 and 2020 and projections for 2030 and 2024.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obviously seen that the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of society that
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
show examples
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 tended to incline.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Malaysia had a
huge
Fix the agreement mistake
higher
show examples
risen
Replace the word
rise
show examples
 than others. In 1970, the total percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 that
been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 in Indonesia was only about 15%
while
Linking Words
 the percentage in
Thailand
Use synonyms
nearly
Add a missing verb
was nearly
show examples
 the same at approximately
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20%. The
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 living in Manila and Kuala Lumpur
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 on the same level, with
Correct article usage
a number
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number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
Change preposition
of 30
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30
Change preposition
of 30
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%. The
proportion
Use synonyms
had
Verb problem
apply
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slightly
upsurged
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 in 1980 and reached a high
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 1990 with about 20% and 25% respectively. In 2000, both Indonesia and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 had the same percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 housing in town with
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
25
Change preposition
of 25
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%. After that, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 living in Bangkok increase dramatically until 2020. The projection
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 being urban
people
Use synonyms
 in
Thailand
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 had
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 pattern, it
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
 significantly and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a peak
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 2040
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around 55%.
Submitted by yoke.meiliadewayanti on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, thailand, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • cities
  • Asian countries
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • estimations
  • urban
  • increasing
  • steadily
  • Japan
  • China
  • rise
  • urbanization
  • South Korea
  • India
  • upward trend
  • slow pace
  • surpass
  • resided
  • projected
  • moderate increase
  • significant surge
  • exceed
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