In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?
It is believed that in the near future citizens may completely reject using
cash
and switch to card
payment instead
. Some people assume that this
innovation will bring more convenience in
their lives, Change preposition
to
while
others may be concerned about the security of their funds due to
the high risk of online scams.
It is worth considering that day by day our world keeps modernizing with new tools or systems establishments. Over the past few years, online banking has become more common within
young people and adolescentsChange preposition
among
,
and Remove the comma
apply
additionally
has offered a comfortable way of bank-to-bank transactions, rapid payments
for a variety of purchases, etcetera. Consequently
, such
payment method is widely used within highly developed countries and, it can be seen, that cash
use is dropping, however
, this
is not yet restricted to card
purchases solely and cash
pay option is still available. Correct article usage
the cash
For instance
, there is a rumour regardingcomplete
Correct your spelling
regarding
transition
to Correct article usage
the transition
card
payments
, nonetheless
, society needs to be fully prepared for such
a crucial adjustment.
Another thing to consider is an
increased risk of internet scams, which gives scammers an opportunity to steal money straightforwardly from the bank account. Indeed, online banks try to improve privacy and security options to protect and prevent any crime, Correct article usage
the
however
, most of the time scammers are one step ahead. Additionally
, if you lose a credit card
or a phone which is connected to your bank account, any person could effortlessly have an
access to the person's funds. Remove the article
apply
As a result
, the majority of individuals would be delighted to have their savings physically at home, where they could keep an eye on them.
Taking everything into consideration an implementation of complete card
payments
are more ecological and appropriate way to make payments
. Nevertheless
, there would be such
conservative people who would not be pleased to refuse cash
entirely.Submitted by yulia_regulich on
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from more specific examples and concrete evidence to support the points made. Adding data or anecdotes can make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all transitions between paragraphs are smooth and logical. Currently, the essay's flow can be improved slightly for better readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid framework for the argument.
task achievement
The main points are relevant and well-chosen, addressing both sides of the argument effectively.
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