IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Your company is going to organise a special training course for a few staffs. Your manager has asked you to find out if the local conference centre has the right facilities to hold this course. Write a letter to the manager of the conference centre. In your letter: give details about the course describe what equipment you will need for the course ask some further questions about the facilities at the conference centre

#company #organise #course #staffs #manager #conference #centre #right #facilities #equipment #questions
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Dear Sir, I am writing
you
Change preposition
to you
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 to inquire about
facilities
Correct article usage
the facilities
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 of your conference hall as our company is planning to organise
training
Add an article
a training
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 course in your hall. As I mentioned,it would be a training
programms
Correct your spelling
programme
 for some new staff in order to
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
 some knowledge about our company. About 100 staff members are going to participate in
this
 project,so we need
chairs
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chair
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 arrangements and one projector for
this
. Can you arrange lunch for 100 people?? And
i
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I
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 want to
sure
Add a missing verb
be sure
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 about
electricity
Correct article usage
the electricity
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 problem. Looking forward to your kind cooperation.
i
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I
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 hope
,
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apply
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 you will answer my requirements as soon as possible.
Submitted by jenny.15121996 on

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task achievement
Provide more details about the training course, its objectives, and duration to completely address the task.
task achievement
Ensure you proofread the letter for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, e.g. 'programms' should be 'program' and 'I want to sure about electricity problem' should be 'I want to be sure about any potential electricity problems.'
coherence cohesion
Consider creating more well-developed paragraphs to improve the logical flow of ideas and clarity of your message.
task achievement
The letter addresses the purpose of the inquiry and mentions specific requirements, such as the need for chairs and a projector.
task achievement
The overall tone of the letter is polite and formal, suitable for a professional context.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body, and a closing statement, which helps in understanding the content logically.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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