Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?
Today, patients have been investigating the best treatment for
coming
healthy. Verb problem
becoming
Thereafter
, Health services have been an initial essential, but unfortunately, these personal companies are extremely expensive, so that
the public cannot use these facilities. Correct word choice
apply
While
there are some drawbacks of private hospital
, I still believe that these cannot overshadow the merits.
On the one hand, there are various benefits of individual Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
clinic
. Fix the agreement mistake
clinics
Firstly
, privet clinics are the best place
for people
that
treatment Correct pronoun usage
whose
need
new methods and gadgets. These places Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
have
equipped with new Verb problem
are
equipment’s
that other places do not have Change noun form
equipment
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
due to
the fact that these people
are
spend a lot of money in these kinds of hospitals. Unnecessary verb
apply
Consequently
, the hospital turnover is too much
and can buy Correct word choice
high
update
and nice Fix the agreement mistake
updates
device
. Fix the agreement mistake
devices
Secondly
, in massive Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
accident
these are the best Add a comma
accident,
place
for helping public Fix the agreement mistake
places
hospital
. Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
For instance
, for Corona epidemics in
2020 until 2022 both Change preposition
from
place
accepted sick persons, if they did not work with each other they were not able to handle Change to a plural noun
places
ill
.
Correct word choice
the illness
On the other hand
, the demerits of personal clinic
are varied. The price of these Fix the agreement mistake
clinics
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
have
been really costlyChange the verb form
has
so that
, Correct word choice
apply
these
places are not Correct word choice
so these
economics
for Replace the word
economical
public
and poor inhabitants Correct article usage
the public
and
Correct word choice
apply
also
, if they need
go to private Add the particle
need to
place
for treatment, Fix the agreement mistake
places
then
their preferences are cheap hospitals. In addition
, the native
with the lowest income died of Fix the agreement mistake
natives
this
problem in
Change preposition
apply
spite
Correct your spelling
despite
of
, all the Change preposition
apply
people
must
access Verb problem
having
good
facilities.
In conclusion, it appears to me that the drawbacks of privet Change preposition
to good
hospital
cannot eclipse the benefits. Notwithstanding, Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
the
number of Correct article usage
a
people
cannot go to the
privet clinics.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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task achievement
Work on making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive. Ensure your points are well-explained and easy to understand.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and avoid abrupt changes in topic.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your essay well.
task achievement
You've included specific examples, like the Corona epidemic example, which strengthens your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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