IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your company is going to organise a special training course for a few staffs. Your manager has asked you to find out if the local conference centre has the right facilities to hold this course. Write a letter to the manager of the conference centre. In your letter: give details about the course describe what equipment you will need for the course ask some further questions about the facilities at the conference centre

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 letter with regard to get permission to hold a training course at your centre on the upcoming weekend.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, my employer wants to arrange the annual CPR workshop for our new candidates,who join us
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 year.To elaborate,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 training is scheduled for Saturday 6 July and it will start at sharp 9 am In the morning and conclude at 6 pm in the evening.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 workshop will include
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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demonstrations of how to save a person's life in a heart attack situation,because nowadays more and more cases of heart attack are drastically increasing.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we will need some
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment

It appears that equipments is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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a projector,
theadphones
Correct your spelling
headphones

If you don’t want theadphones to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and duplicate models for performing CPR
practicles
Correct your spelling
practices

If you don’t want practicles to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.Please make sure to use high quality sound system,so the participants can hear the voice of the instructor without any
distrubance
Correct your spelling
disturbance

If you don’t want distrubance to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Lastly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I have some questions regarding your services.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are some candidates
are
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb are appears to be unnecessary here.

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coming from
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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different cities,so is it possible to
fix
Verb problem
arrange

There may be a verb use issue here.

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accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation

If you don’t want accomodation to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for them at your place? and
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 but not
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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least, parking
aminities
Correct your spelling
amenities

If you don’t want aminities to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

are included in the total bill? I am waiting for your positive answers
on
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 my questions. yours sincerely, Parthkumar

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, consider organizing the letter into more distinct paragraphs. For example, one paragraph for dates/timing, one for equipment, and one for questions. This makes it easier to read and follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea. Mixing multiple points in a single paragraph can make it harder for the reader to follow.
task achievement
Be careful with small grammatical and punctuation errors. For instance, 'theadphones' should be 'headphones' and 'practicles' should be 'practicals'.
task achievement
You could add more detail to your questions about accommodations and parking to provide more clarity.
suitable writing tone
The letter is polite and maintains a formal tone, which is suitable for writing to a manager.
complete response
The task response is complete and covers all required points—details about the course, equipment, and additional questions are all included.
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