Your company is going to organise a special training course for a few staffs. Your manager has asked you to find out if the local conference centre has the right facilities to hold this course. Write a letter to the manager of the conference centre. In your letter: give details about the course describe what equipment you will need for the course ask some further questions about the facilities at the conference centre

#company #organise #course #staffs #manager #conference #centre #right #facilities #equipment #questions

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Dear sir, I am writing

this

letter with regard to get permission to hold a training course at your centre on the upcoming weekend.

To begin

with, my employer wants to arrange the annual CPR workshop for our new candidates,who join us

this

year.To elaborate,

this

training is scheduled for Saturday 6 July and it will start at sharp 9 am In the morning and conclude at 6 pm in the evening.

Moreover

this

workshop will include

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

demonstrations of how to save a person's life in a heart attack situation,because nowadays more and more cases of heart attack are drastically increasing.

Besides

this

, we will need some

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

a projector,

theadphones

Correct your spelling

headphones

and duplicate models for performing CPR

practicles

Correct your spelling

practices

.Please make sure to use high quality sound system,so the participants can hear the voice of the instructor without any

distrubance

Correct your spelling

disturbance

Lastly

, I have some questions regarding your services.

Firstly

, there are some candidates

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

coming from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different cities,so is it possible to

fix

Verb problem

arrange

show examples

accomodation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

for them at your place? and

last

but not

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

least, parking

aminities

Correct your spelling

amenities

are included in the total bill? I am waiting for your positive answers

Change preposition

show examples

my questions. yours sincerely, Parthkumar

Submitted by pp6859 on Tue Jun 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve logical structure, consider organizing the letter into more distinct paragraphs. For example, one paragraph for dates/timing, one for equipment, and one for questions. This makes it easier to read and follow.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea. Mixing multiple points in a single paragraph can make it harder for the reader to follow.

task achievement

Be careful with small grammatical and punctuation errors. For instance, 'theadphones' should be 'headphones' and 'practicles' should be 'practicals'.

task achievement

You could add more detail to your questions about accommodations and parking to provide more clarity.

suitable writing tone

The letter is polite and maintains a formal tone, which is suitable for writing to a manager.

complete response

The task response is complete and covers all required points—details about the course, equipment, and additional questions are all included.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

197 words

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