The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008
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In
this
Linking Words
era, evidence shows schools allow
children
Use synonyms
who are under 7 years of
age
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to begin
Linking Words
their formal
education
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. It appears that some people argue that
this
Linking Words
phenomenon should not be happening.
This
Linking Words
essay attempts to shed light on both arguments of
this
Linking Words
tendency. First and foremost, sending
children
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to
school
Use synonyms
at an early
age
Use synonyms
can be advantageous to some extent. In some regions,
school
Use synonyms
starts to allow young students to get a formal
education
Use synonyms
to begin
Linking Words
their
education
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journey at an early
age
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. It's believed that the early
age
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of
education
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can merit the growth of intelligence more easily rather than at a late
age
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the Citra Bangsa
School
Use synonyms
which is located in Jakarta, accept students without any
age
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limit requirement and
children
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under 7 years old can begin their
education
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at
school
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is a possibility that formal
school
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can negatively affect
children
Use synonyms
's mental, especially
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a very early
age
Use synonyms
, considering their level of maturity and intelligence. Formal
education
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requires students to study under many factors of pressure.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was a case that
children
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at a young
age
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had depression because of the pressure from studying at
school
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. Parents should consider the level of maturity and intelligence of their
children
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before sending them to get a formal
education
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to prevent them from depression. I
also
Linking Words
believe that
this
Linking Words
approach should be well acknowledged by parents in society to reduce the amount of the same cases
might
Correct pronoun usage
that might
show examples
appear in the future. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
it is irrefutable that the ubiquity of formal
education
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at an early
age
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to some extent, I believe that
children
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under 7 years of
age
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should not get a formal
education
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at
school
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.
Submitted by muhammad.alfarasyi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "to begin".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words children, age, education, school with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduate
  • Postgraduate
  • Full-time work
  • Further education
  • Part-time work
  • Unemployment
  • Volunteering
  • Traveling
  • Gap year
  • Career progression
  • Job market
  • Transition
  • Academic life
  • Professional sphere
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Financial crisis
  • Long-term impact
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