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Writing Samples
Band 3

The chart below shows what anthrop[ology graduates from one university did after fininshing thier undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after 5 years

The chart below shows what anthrop[ology graduates from one university did after fininshing thier undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after 5 years
#anthrop[ology #graduates #university #thier #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #years
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The chart demonstrates the percentage of British students in England
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can speak other languages
in addition
Linking Words
 to
English
Use synonyms
 in 2000 and 2010
to begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 in 2000 30% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
British
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
speaks
Wrong verb form
spoke
show examples
 Spanish that number
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 in 2010 to 35%
on the other hand
Linking Words
 fringe
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a percentage of 15% in 2000
creases
Correct your spelling
increased
show examples
 to 10% in the year
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
show examples
 The
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not speak. Any languages from
English
Use synonyms
 was 20% in 2000 that number
decreases
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 to almost double in 2010 to just 10% more over German stayed the same
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 just 10% through the period from 2000 to 2010
to sum up
Linking Words
 majority of British students
speaks
Correct subject-verb agreement
speak
show examples
 both
English
Use synonyms
 and Spanish and both 2000 and 2010
while
Linking Words
 the minority
speaks
Correct subject-verb agreement
speak
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other languages
in addition
Linking Words
 to
English
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by malogeil51 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words english with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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