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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph shows the monthly expenditure on three types of restaurant food in Australia. The plot shows the annual number of restaurant visits for the same types of food between 1965 and 2015. Summarise the information in the charts and make comparisons where appropriate.

The graph shows the monthly expenditure on three types of restaurant food in Australia. The plot shows the annual number of restaurant visits for the same types of food between 1965 and 2015. Summarise the information in the charts and make comparisons where appropriate.
The bar graph shows the expenditure of different income groups in
Italian
Use synonyms
,
Indian
Use synonyms
 and
Chinese
Use synonyms
restaurants
Use synonyms
 in Australia,
while
Linking Words
 the scatterplot shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of annual
visits
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 to the same type of
restaurants
Use synonyms
 between 1965 and 2015. The proportion of money spent on
Chinese
Use synonyms
 and
Italian
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food
Use synonyms
 is similar for high ($42 and $20), medium ($35 and $14) and low ($13 and $8) income groups. As people’s income becomes higher, the proportion of money
that is
Linking Words
 spent on
Indian
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 drops from being the most to least favoured style of
food
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 suggests that
Indian
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 is preferred because it is the least expensive option. In 1970 the total
number
Use synonyms
 of restaurant
visits
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 per
year
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 was approximately 5
visits
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 per
person
Use synonyms
, which was made up of 3 and 2
visits
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 to
Chinese
Use synonyms
 and
Italian
Use synonyms
restaurants
Use synonyms
, respectively. The total remained low until 1985, but after that time increased steadily to around 50
visits
Use synonyms
 per
year
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 by 2015. After 1985, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visits
Use synonyms
 to
Chinese
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restaurants
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 increased in a continuous upward trend reaching 22
visits
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 by 2015,
while
Linking Words
visits
Use synonyms
 to
Italian
Use synonyms
 and
Indian
Use synonyms
restaurants
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
 followed a similar trend but the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visits
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 began to level out after the
year
Use synonyms
 2000 reaching 15 and 12
visits
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 by 2015, respectively. People having higher disposable incomes and less free time are probably the causes of the dramatic change in eating habits.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words italian, indian, chinese, restaurants, number, visits, person, food, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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