The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The bar graph below illustrates the
proportion
of Australian males and females
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
a variety of
ages
who did daily physical exercise in 2010.
It is clear that
most
men
between 45 to 54
ages
were more interested in workouts,
whereas
the figure for women during teenage
ages
peaked at
proportion
. In detail, the figure for women during 15 to 24 was 52.8%
while
that of
men
was lower at 47.7%. During the
ages
of 25 to 34, the percentage of physical workouts in
men
was 48.9 %
whereas
that of women was 42.2%.
In addition
, when males reached the
ages
of 35 to 44,
this
figure increased gradually by 3.6.
By contrast
, there was a slight decline in the
proportion
of physical activity for females from 35 to 44 which was at 39.5%.
Therefore
, the
proportion
of doing exercise among females after 45 years old rose marginally from 43.1% to 46.7%.
However
, these figures for males declined from 53.3% to 47.1%.
Furthermore
, from 25 to over 65 the percentage of activity for
men
was more than female,
while
only teenage girls were more interested in doing workouts.
Submitted by www.marzieh.eidi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, ages, men with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: