Directors and managers of organisations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Often, managers tend to be older
people
,
while
some disagree and believe that the younger
generation
should be leaders. In my opinion, I totally agree with giving young
people
a chance to lead the
company
because they are more creative and
way
Add an article
a way
show examples
for startup business
Firstily
Correct your spelling
Firstly
,the young
generation
are more creative
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
doing
somting
Correct your spelling
something
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
with
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by
show examples
the present .To explain
further
, when a
company
wants to improve and attract
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
from everywhere, young
leader
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leaders
show examples
are well suited for
this
role.
Add a verb
They are
They were
show examples
They
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
more attuned to the present
generation
Change noun form
generation's
show examples
needs and
prferences
Correct your spelling
preferences
, making them better
equiped
Correct your spelling
equipped
for
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to
show examples
create strategies that appeal to a broader and more diverse customer base.
For example
, if the
Correct your spelling
company
copamny
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company
is about
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technology
tecnolage
Correct your spelling
technology
so the young
people
more able
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
lead
this
company
Correct your spelling
because
becase
Correct your spelling
because
they grew up
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
it .when young
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people
peolpe
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people
take
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
Correct your spelling
high
hig
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high
positions they are bring
frech
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fresh
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perspective
prespective
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perspective
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
company
secondly
, startup business comes from the young
generation
. To
illustreat
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illustrate
, when young
people
get
this
experense
Correct your spelling
experience
from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
young age
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it is helpful For them to open their own
company
. On the other meaning the
statup
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startup
besenes
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business
besides
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will have that good mange
bcouse
Correct your spelling
because
of the
highe experense
Correct your spelling
high experience
they have . To give
simple
Add an article
a simple
show examples
example, When a person gains experience from a young age in a large
company
they are ready to work
independent
Change the word
independently
show examples
and implement their own ideas.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
, I want to support
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the young
people
lead the
company
Correct your spelling
because
becace
Correct your spelling
because
is the way to
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
see more startup
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
and them
creatfuly
Correct your spelling
greatly
Submitted by s_syedy on

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general
While the essay addresses the topic, improve the organization of paragraphs to enhance clarity. Clearly state and explain main points with examples.
general
Provide more specific examples to support the main points. This will make your argument stronger and more compelling.
language
Work on the grammar and spelling errors present in the essay. This will enhance readability and professionalism.
general
The essay demonstrates a general understanding of the topic and attempts to support the argument with valid reasons.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Wealth of experience
  • Historical knowledge
  • Fresh perspectives
  • Innovative ideas
  • Adaptability
  • Technological advancements
  • Team cohesion
  • Morale
  • Calculated risks
  • Significant advancements
  • Mentorship
  • Transfer of knowledge
  • Energy and drive
  • Refined decision-making skills
  • Younger workforce
  • Leadership development
  • Organizational dynamics
  • Risk-taking mindset
  • Change management
  • Intergenerational collaboration
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