The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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A country's growth is always considered to be its
overall
growth. Some people say that the government is required to focus on healthcare and basic infrastructure,
however
Add a comma
,
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some believe that they should concentrate on investing in
Replace the word
cultural
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culture
heritage like music and art . I believe both views are important and I will clarify them in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, basic infrastructure is the
sole-responsibility
Correct your spelling
sole responsibility
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of the government,
hence
investing in public services is their prime job. Every individual is required to access various services like healthcare, transportation, and basic amenities.
For instance
, lack of funds can damage or put our healthcare system at risk, if they are not able to maintain them on a regular basis.
Therefore
, patients will suffer and that will be a huge loss for the country.
On the other hand
, the development of art is equally important; it enriches the cultural heritage. Growing globally and expanding
culture
using music, theatre and art is
also
a necessity to build a healthy environment for youth to increase creativity and innovation among them.
For example
, Punjab is known for its music and
culture
worldwide
hence
their youth is getting huge opportunities and getting businesses, concerts
and
Correct word choice
apply
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Hollywood movies etc. Punjabi
culture
is recognized worldwide and is appreciated . On balance, since funding for the arts and providing public access are significant things to do, it is pretty difficult to make a conclusion, whether I agree or disagree.
Submitted by hiteshpaul on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position on the statement from the outset rather than leaving it ambiguous. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using more sophisticated linking phrases and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
In the conclusion, aim to more clearly summarize your position on the issue. You've mentioned that it's difficult to conclude, but try to give a more decisive ending.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of small grammatical errors and repetitive word use, as this can affect the clarity of your essay. Consider revising for grammatical accuracy and more varied word choices.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples to support your points, which adds depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is logical, and each paragraph is focused on a specific idea, which makes it easier to follow.
task achievement
You have balanced the discussion by considering both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • public services
  • economic benefits
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • equitable access
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • prioritize
  • essential services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • tourism
  • global recognition
  • holistic development
  • mutually exclusive
  • philanthropy
  • subsidize
  • infrastructure
  • socio-economic status
  • altruistic
  • civic engagement
  • aesthetics
  • civic pride
  • utilitarian
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