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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the milk export figures from three European countries between 2008 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the milk export figures from three European countries between 2008 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#milk #export #figures #three #european #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart gives information regarding sales of
milk
Use synonyms
 in 3 different European
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as Italy,
Russia
Use synonyms
 and
Poland
Use synonyms
 over 5 years from 2008 to 2012. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
export
Use synonyms
 of
milk
Use synonyms
 in
Russia
Use synonyms
 more higher
while
Linking Words
Poland
Use synonyms
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 2-3 times lower than
Russia
Use synonyms
. In Italy,
milk
Use synonyms
 sales took nearly half
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of Russian
export
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with that in 2008
Russia
Use synonyms
 exported no more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 25
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
tonnes
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 in Italy approximately 18m
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and 13m
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in
Poland
Use synonyms
 country. Next year
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
Poland
Change noun form
Poland's
show examples
 sales decreased to 8m
tonnes
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
Russia
Use synonyms
 took almost 3 times more to compare with data in
Poland
Use synonyms
, the
export
Use synonyms
 of Italy
no
Verb problem
did not
show examples
chanched
Correct your spelling
change
. In 2010 the Russian
export
Use synonyms
 of
milk
Use synonyms
 increased unbelievably
40
Change preposition
by 40
show examples
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
tonnes
Use synonyms
, which means took the top of the list,
however
Linking Words
 in
Poland
Use synonyms
 again fell to little more than 5
m
Correct your spelling
million
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and stayed
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 of the list compared
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
 years. Italy has no big difference,
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
show examples
 to
probabyly
Correct your spelling
probably
 20m
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2010. In 2011
Use synonyms
export
Correct article usage
the export
show examples
 of
milk
Use synonyms
 in
Russia
Use synonyms
 dipped to 39m
tonnes
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 in
Poland
Use synonyms
 went up to 13m
tonnes
Use synonyms
, Itaky again has no change. In 2012,
Russia
Use synonyms
lose
Wrong verb form
lost
show examples
 10m
tonnes
Use synonyms
 compared with
last
Linking Words
 year,
Poland
Use synonyms
 climbed a little no more than 15m
tonnes
Use synonyms
, in Ital number stayed
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 20
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and no
changed
Replace the word
change
show examples
last
Linking Words
 3 years.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, russia, poland, export, tonnes, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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