IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #climate #change
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Facing
climate
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change
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, human beings have two different views, learn to co-exist with it or seek a proper approach to arrest
this
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 trend. In my opinion,
people
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 have a responsibility to stop
climate
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change
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 to protect the homeland of all species in the world. The reasons that mankind should stop 
climate
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change
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 are obvious.
First,
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people
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 still have enough time to solve 
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climate
Add an article
the climate
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 problem. The speed of
climate
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change
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 is pretty 
slowly
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slow
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, the temperature at present has been increasing approximately one degree on average than the age of
Correct article usage
the industrial
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industrial revolution
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Industrial Revolution
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,
according to
Linking Words
 data from the UN.
However
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,
people
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’s lives will be hardly influenced, when the temperature rises to two degrees 
than
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apply
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nowadays.
Therefore
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, humans still have a long time to find a way to work out
climate
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change
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.
Second,
Linking Words
people
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 have a lot of methods to prevent
climate
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change
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. Releasing greenhouse gases 
are
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is
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 the main cause lead to 
climate
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change
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.
People
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 can reduce the emission of greenhouse
gas
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gases
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 through technical methods.
For example
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, developing solar energy and wind energy to take
place
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the place
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 of traditional fossil
fuel
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fuels
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. So 
climate
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 problem is not difficult to overcome.
In contrast
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, humans will lose
living
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their living
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 environment if they do not control 
climate
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change
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.
For instance
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, global warming is the major form of
climate
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change
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. It will cause the glaciers to melt which will result in sea level climbing.
And the
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The
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 lands at low
altitude
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altitudes
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 will be flooded, thereby the production of crops will decrease, which will influence the survival of humanity. In conclusion, it is clear to human beings that try our best to prevent
climate
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change
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 to create a better survival environment for humans' future.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the task are fully addressed. While the essay provides good points, some parts can be expanded, and more detailed examples would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs for smoother flow. This will enhance coherence and make the essay more engaging.
task response
Offer more specific examples to substantiate your points. For instance, instead of broadly mentioning that people can reduce greenhouse gas emissions, provide examples of countries or initiatives that have successfully implemented such strategies.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents coherent ideas and attempts to logically connect them.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main point, reinforcing the argument made in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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