IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #climate #change
Facing
climate
change
, human beings have two different views, learn to co-exist with it or seek a proper approach to arrest
this
 trend. In my opinion,
people
 have a responsibility to stop
climate
change
 to protect the homeland of all species in the world. The reasons that mankind should stop 
climate
change
 are obvious.
First,
people
 still have enough time to solve 
climate
Add an article
the climate
show examples
 problem. The speed of
climate
change
 is pretty 
slowly
Change the word
slow
show examples
, the temperature at present has been increasing approximately one degree on average than the age of
Correct article usage
the industrial
show examples
industrial revolution
Correct your spelling
Industrial Revolution
show examples
,
according to
 data from the UN.
However
,
people
’s lives will be hardly influenced, when the temperature rises to two degrees 
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays.
Therefore
, humans still have a long time to find a way to work out
climate
change
.
Second,
people
 have a lot of methods to prevent
climate
change
. Releasing greenhouse gases 
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the main cause lead to 
climate
change
.
People
 can reduce the emission of greenhouse
gas
Fix the agreement mistake
gases
show examples
 through technical methods.
For example
, developing solar energy and wind energy to take
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 of traditional fossil
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
. So 
climate
 problem is not difficult to overcome.
In contrast
, humans will lose
living
Correct pronoun usage
their living
show examples
 environment if they do not control 
climate
change
.
For instance
, global warming is the major form of
climate
change
. It will cause the glaciers to melt which will result in sea level climbing.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 lands at low
altitude
Fix the agreement mistake
altitudes
show examples
 will be flooded, thereby the production of crops will decrease, which will influence the survival of humanity. In conclusion, it is clear to human beings that try our best to prevent
climate
change
 to create a better survival environment for humans' future.
Submitted by fiasngs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all parts of the task are fully addressed. While the essay provides good points, some parts can be expanded, and more detailed examples would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs for smoother flow. This will enhance coherence and make the essay more engaging.
task response
Offer more specific examples to substantiate your points. For instance, instead of broadly mentioning that people can reduce greenhouse gas emissions, provide examples of countries or initiatives that have successfully implemented such strategies.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents coherent ideas and attempts to logically connect them.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main point, reinforcing the argument made in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: