the chart shows the percentage of the adult population employed in different categories in 2003 and 2013

the chart shows the percentage of the adult population employed in different categories in 2003 and 2013
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the chart shows the percentage of the adult population employed in different categories in 2003 and 2013
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The chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
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the proportion of adults occupying
in
Change preposition
apply
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various employment sectors in 2003 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of adults who
working
Wrong verb form
worked
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in
business
Add an article
the business
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sector was the highest figure among
7
Correct article usage
the 7
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categories,
while
Linking Words
the unemployed accounted for the lowest percentage. Starting at 30% in 2003, the proportion of business people decreased by approximately 5% after 10 years.
The
Correct article usage
A
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similar trajectory was observed in hospitality, education, and unemployed, from 9%, 12% and 5% to 7%, 5% and 3% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the rates of adults working
on
Change preposition
in
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remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
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sectors increase throughout the given period. The proportion of medical employees rose from 18% to 26% in 2013, followed by that of engineers with 18% after it slightly increased by 2%.
This
Linking Words
lagged behind the percentage of the self-employed with exactly 15% in 2013 and 10% in 2003.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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