Some people think it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that girls and boys benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss these two views and give your opinion.

There is no doubt that these days education is a vital part
in
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of
show examples
the process of
societies
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society's
show examples
development.
Certian
Correct your spelling
Certain
individuals believe that male and female students should attend separate classes at school,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
, including
myself
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me
show examples
argue that unmixed education
leactures
Correct your spelling
lectures
lecturers
are better for young learners from both genders. There are several important
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
make
Correct pronoun usage
that make
show examples
me strongly disagree with the idea of maxing school classes for girls and boys.
First,
God
cearted
Correct your spelling
created
males and females with
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
and they
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
have not similar
intrest
Correct your spelling
interests
.
Therefore
, teaching techniques should vary for each gender to
mach
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match
their
preferd
Correct your spelling
preferred
learning style. One clear example is that boys tend to be
mor
Correct your spelling
more
active and violent toward each other,
in contrast
to girls who love talking and being softer and kinder to each other than males.
Second,
sexual attraction between men and women is a normal thing in humans even
in
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at
show examples
a younger age.
This
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These
show examples
natural needs would cause a distraction in
students
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students'
show examples
focusing
skill
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skills
show examples
, which will
leds
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lead
to scores being decreased and a lot of students
fail
Wrong verb form
failing
show examples
to pass an exam. On the other
hands
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hand
show examples
, some nation
encurage
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encourage
their
chiledren
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children
to attend mixed schools to be familiar with the opposite gender, so if they
graduated
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graduate
show examples
and
worked
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
in a mixed work environment, it will be easier for them.
For instance
, hospitals, universities,
shops
Correct word choice
and shops
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
all have women and men employees working with each other. In conclusion, in my opinion,
although
some people prefer
thier chieldren
Correct your spelling
their children
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
show examples
to educational institutions that have
mixed genders
Correct your spelling
mixed-gender
show examples
classes, I believe that it has
a drawbacks
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drawbacks
a drawback
show examples
more than benefits
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the younger generation.
Submitted by hguwfhkd on

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task achievement
Consider refining your introduction to clearly outline both views before stating your own opinion. This will make your position and the structure of the essay clearer.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This adds weight to your arguments and demonstrates your ability to apply abstract ideas to practical situations.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph contains one main idea supported by detailed explanation and examples. This will enhance the coherence of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors to improve clarity and overall readability. Improved language accuracy will positively impact the scoring of all criteria.
coherence cohesion
Your essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for maintaining structure and coherence.
task achievement
You have effectively discussed both viewpoints and provided your own clear stance on the topic, which is crucial for task achievement.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to provide reasons and examples to support your opinion, which helps in building a persuasive argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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