Some people say that advertising encourages people to buy things they do not need.Others say that advertisements are important sources of information about new products.Discuss both views and give your opinion. Yến Linh

In modern-day society, some people believe that promoting
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
incentive
Correct article usage
an incentive
show examples
for people to buy unnecessary
products
while
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
others people that newly released goods can be advertised because the
advertisements
are essential for consumers.I strongly agree with the former and both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
views will be discussed in the following paragraphs. There are many reasons why some
residents
think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertisements
are important for users.On social networks,there are many
advertisements
about new
products
.Citizens often watch
advertisements
first so that they can know the users and functions of each product before spending a large amount of money on it .Especially, it is important to filter
advertisements
to avoid scams.
For example
, when Steve
Job
Fix the agreement mistake
Jobs
show examples
released the
Correct your spelling
iPhone
iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
show examples
15 ,it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
sold immediately
due to
Apple’s successful brand awareness and communication
In contrast
, I am opinion that promotion
motivate
Change the verb form
motivates
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
consumers
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
unnecessary
products
.There are so many enlarged promotions that
residents
will believe them and buy inessential
products
.Citizens can see
advertisements
through
idols
Change noun form
idols'
idol's
show examples
review
Fix the agreement mistake
reviews
show examples
.Because they are
Add an article
a favorite
the favorite
show examples
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
symbol
Fix the agreement mistake
symbols
show examples
,
residents
will have the most trust even though those
products
are not necessary .
In addition
,
residents
still want to buy
products
to be like their idols.
Correct your spelling
Further
Futher more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
due to
the frequency of excessive advertising on social media or social networks
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
residents
usually buy inessential
products
In conclusion,
although
it is often argued that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertisements
are important for buyers
while
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
promoting
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
incentive
Fix the agreement mistake
incentives
show examples
for customers
so
Change preposition
to
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they can buy inessential
products
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Avoid minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance readability.
clarity
Improve the clarity of ideas by breaking complex sentences into simpler ones.
content
Strengthen your argument with more specific and diverse examples.
cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly by using linking phrases or words.
content
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on advertising.
clarity
The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer’s position.
structure
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points made in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: