Nowadays many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grand parents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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With an ever-increasing concern about
childcare
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for working
parents
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, some individuals have opined that
grand
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grandparents
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parents
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can adequately
care
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for
children
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. The rest of
population
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the population
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,
however
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, raised a counterargument that
childcare
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centers
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centres
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provide superior
care
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.
This
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essay will,
therefore
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, evaluate both arguments and present a concluding viewpoint.
To begin
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with, some individuals believe that grandparents can provide additional support for working
parents
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. From the perspective of working
parents
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, they have been suffering from hiring suitable caregivers
due to
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the circumstances where it is hard to compromise the working hours and lack of reliable caregivers.
Therefore
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, those working
parents
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can
be
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apply
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actually
benefited
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benefit
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from the activated implementation of grandparents’ caregiving for their
children
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.
Furthermore
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, compared to random grandparents, other possible caregivers have shown less time, ability and willingness to
care
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for the
children
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. In spite of
those
Correct determiner usage
the
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reasons mentioned above, other opponents contend that
childcare
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centers
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centres
show examples
provide better
care
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for
children
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. Providing a few agreements on previous arguments, moving to
childcare
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
can illuminate a different perspective.
The
Change the word
Their
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most
Correct word choice
highest
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priority
of
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apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is to maximize the quality of caring services in
structured
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a structured
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environment and
this
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consequently
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demonstrates the trained
staffs
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staff
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to ensure safety, development and education.
Thus
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, making decisions about caregiving for
children
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should not be based on
sole
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the sole
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side of representative opinion.
Moreover
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, there must be other factors to be weighed in appreciating the actual causal relationship between the caregiving and working parent. In conclusion, some individuals argue that implementing grandparents’ caregiving can significantly benefit working
parents
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.
Nevertheless
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, I firmly believe that more considerable of other parties’ facing issues should be taken into account to achieve more sustainable advantages.
Submitted by rachael0124 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in Task Achievement, remember to support your arguments with more specific and relevant examples. This would make your points more persuasive and robust.
coherence cohesion
In the Coherence and Cohesion category, focus on creating smoother transitions between your ideas. This helps to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next and makes your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Work on making your arguments clearer and more comprehensive. Sometimes, the points you make can seem a bit vague or underdeveloped. Elaborating on your ideas would make your essay stronger.
coherence cohesion
While concluding the essay, ensure you summarize both views and reinforce your stance clearly. This strengthens the overall logical structure of your essay.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly sets out the two viewpoints that will be discussed in the essay. This is a strong way to start.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion offers a clear opinion which brings a sense of closure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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