Nowadays many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grand parents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
With an ever-increasing concern about
childcare
for working parents
, some individuals have opined that grand
Correct your spelling
grandparents
parents
can adequately care
for children
. The rest of population
, Correct article usage
the population
however
, raised a counterargument that childcare
centers
provide superior Change the spelling
centres
care
. This
essay will, therefore
, evaluate both arguments and present a concluding viewpoint.
To begin
with, some individuals believe that grandparents can provide additional support for working parents
. From the perspective of working parents
, they have been suffering from hiring suitable caregivers due to
the circumstances where it is hard to compromise the working hours and lack of reliable caregivers. Therefore
, those working parents
can be
actually Verb problem
apply
benefited
from the activated implementation of grandparents’ caregiving for their Wrong verb form
benefit
children
. Furthermore
, compared to random grandparents, other possible caregivers have shown less time, ability and willingness to care
for the children
.
In spite of those
reasons mentioned above, other opponents contend that Correct determiner usage
the
childcare
centers
provide better Change the spelling
centres
care
for children
. Providing a few agreements on previous arguments, moving to childcare
centers
can illuminate a different perspective. Change the spelling
centres
The
Change the word
Their
most
priority Correct word choice
highest
of
Change preposition
apply
them
is to maximize the quality of caring services in Correct pronoun usage
apply
structured
environment and Add an article
a structured
this
consequently
demonstrates the trained staffs
to ensure safety, development and education. Fix the agreement mistake
staff
Thus
, making decisions about caregiving for children
should not be based on sole
side of representative opinion. Add an article
the sole
Moreover
, there must be other factors to be weighed in appreciating the actual causal relationship between the caregiving and working parent.
In conclusion, some individuals argue that implementing grandparents’ caregiving can significantly benefit working parents
. Nevertheless
, I firmly believe that more considerable of other parties’ facing issues should be taken into account to achieve more sustainable advantages.Submitted by rachael0124 on
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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in Task Achievement, remember to support your arguments with more specific and relevant examples. This would make your points more persuasive and robust.
coherence cohesion
In the Coherence and Cohesion category, focus on creating smoother transitions between your ideas. This helps to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next and makes your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Work on making your arguments clearer and more comprehensive. Sometimes, the points you make can seem a bit vague or underdeveloped. Elaborating on your ideas would make your essay stronger.
coherence cohesion
While concluding the essay, ensure you summarize both views and reinforce your stance clearly. This strengthens the overall logical structure of your essay.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly sets out the two viewpoints that will be discussed in the essay. This is a strong way to start.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion offers a clear opinion which brings a sense of closure to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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