Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Every day, tension around
climate
change
continues to rise. Some argue that developed
countries
should take responsibility
to tackle
Change preposition
for tackling
show examples
climate
change
,
while
others think it is a common responsibility of all
countries
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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I will discuss both views and give my own opinion by supporting the idea that all
countries
have equal responsibilities to combat
climate
change
.
To begin
with, the industrial revolution and
oil
gas industry, which began to rise in developed
countries
have caused side effects to
climate
change
. Now, after the centuries,
climate
change
is the main concern in the world as an outcome of these industries.
For example
, carbon dioxide
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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, rising temperatures worldwide, deforestation,
polluted
Correct word choice
and polluted
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oceans with
oil
splits are the consequences of these destructive industries. In
this
case, developed
countries
seem to have responsibilities in order to fix
centuries long
Add a hyphen
centuries-long
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mistakes of using
fossil-fuel based
Add a hyphen
fossil-fuel-based
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resources.
Thus
, by being aware of the speed of
climate
change
, developed
countries
started to switch
renewable
Change preposition
to renewable
show examples
energy forms and cut down the usage of coal and old gas resources.
For instance
, the big
oil
companies are being blamed by Greenpeace for contributing to polluting the environment and forced to shut down the
oil
rigs in
North
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the North
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sea’s
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Sea’s
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waters.
Secondly
, it is
a
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the
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responsibility of all
countries
to fight against
climate
change
,
otherwise
, acting separately will not help to find a solution.
That is
to say, tackling
climate
change
issues must be a priority for developing
countries
, because many
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
like
textile
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textiles
show examples
, agriculture,
cosmetics
Correct word choice
and cosmetics
show examples
, which are located there, are among the areas that contaminate nature.
That is
why, not only should developing
countries
give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rise to eco-friendly systems, but
also
should work alongside
with
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apply
show examples
developed
countries
to find a solution
for
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to
show examples
our common problem. In conclusion,
climate
change
is happening because of the usage of fossil fuels as a basement for receiving energy, which humanity as a whole is responsible for.
Thus
, all
countries
have to have responsibilities to be able to fix
this enormous problems
Change the determiner
this enormous problem
these enormous problems
show examples
by sharing the same strategies.
Submitted by mizh.nguyen on

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task response
Your essay addresses both views adequately and provides your own opinion. However, try to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments further.
coherence and cohesion
Consider providing a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph to better guide your reader. This will help improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly presenting your stance on the issue.
task response
You do a good job of explaining the reasons for your opinion and providing some examples to support your points.
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