IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The diagrams depict the old structure of a public
park
 when it first opened in 1920 and how it is now after some refurbishment.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 there is effective utilization of spaces to
further
 offer different activities and services for visitors. In 1920, the old
park
contains
Wrong verb form
contained
show examples
 two entrance gates in the back and front sections, lines of seats in each corner, three rose garden areas,
stage
Correct article usage
a stage
show examples
 for musicians and
fountain
Correct article usage
a fountain
show examples
 in the middle of the
park
.
Moreover
, a pond for water plants and glasshouse. Currently, the
park
 offers
numerious
Correct your spelling
numerous
 activities, including three entrance gates,
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 shop,
children's
Correct article usage
a children's
show examples
 play area, and
water
Correct article usage
a water
show examples
 feature. The added gate was meant to direct
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 to the
new
Change the word
newly
show examples
add
Wrong verb form
added
show examples
 water feature at the right corner of the
park
. In the right section, there are
also
children's
Correct article usage
a children's
show examples
 play area and
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 shop in front of it. In the
middel
Correct your spelling
middle
 the is a large rose garden surrounded
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 seats.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the left, there are Amphitheatre for
Correct article usage
the concerts
show examples
concerts
Change the noun form
concert
show examples
 area and another rose garden. In summary, the new structure
cater
Change the verb form
caters
show examples
 for
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
 number of
visiors
Correct your spelling
visitors
, offering them
unique
Add an article
a unique
show examples
 experience and easy access.
Submitted by marammajid1999 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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