These days, world leaders of all kinds are younger than in the past, What are the reasons? ls this a negative or a positive trend?
It has been observed that global
leaders
of all types nowadays are younger than in the past. Thisessay
will explore the various factors that contribute Correct your spelling
This essay
this
trend, followed by some possible Change preposition
to this
effectsof
Correct your spelling
effects of
this
problem.
Firstly
, one significant reason is that people
's mindset
Fix the agreement mistake
mindsets
has
changed from the past. Correct subject-verb agreement
have
For instance
,most of
Change preposition
apply
people
advocate that young groups with Add an article
the people
leaders
have more creativity and empathyabout
Correct your spelling
empathy about
country's
development and citizen's demand, And Correct article usage
the country's
also
, as numerous social difficulties havepenetrated
our life, various temptations Correct your spelling
have penetrated
have-penetrated
are
surrounding Unnecessary verb
apply
people
. At the same time, youngerleaders
have more courage to face these difficulties, as older Correct your spelling
younger leaders
leaders
usually are moreconservative
and prefer to maintain the current situation, and they don't want Correct your spelling
more conservative
bear
Fix the infinitive
to bear
risk
.Correct article usage
the risk
Furthermore
, as the economy flourishes, people
have access to wide
range of Add an article
a wide
welfares
Fix the agreement mistake
welfare
andcompetitive
qualifications that they can select and acquire.
Correct your spelling
and competitive
and-competitive
competitive
However
, it cannot be ignored that there are some disadvantages associated with this
practice. One of Correct article usage
the drawback
drawback
is that youthful Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
did
not have an experience deeply and fully that Wrong verb form
do
doesnot
bring commensurate rewards and leads to diminishing marginal utility, which means that Correct your spelling
does not
doesn't
theadditional
benefits of living well-being of the public Correct your spelling
the additional
deceases
as the amount of time increases.Correct your spelling
decrease
This
results in inefficiencies and waste of resources, which could be allocated to more productiveand
beneficial activities. Another disadvantage is that paying extra for construction Correct your spelling
productive and
productive
andinnovation
regarding Correct your spelling
and innovation
innovation
ideas
of young Correct article usage
the ideas
people
,
may exert unexpected financial pressure Remove the comma
apply
uponcitizens
, especially those in developing regions, where the income level and living standard Correct your spelling
on citizens
arerelatively
low, Correct your spelling
are relatively
This
may cause them to suffer from financial stress and hardship, which couldaffect
their quality of life. The main reason is that Correct your spelling
could affect
youngster
lack long-term thinking and practical awareness.
In summary, my viewpoint is that all the different Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
leaders
in the world are more and more younggroups
, which can readily trigger many issues, From the viewpoint of subsequent, l think Correct your spelling
young groups
themain
effect of Correct your spelling
the main
this
incident is negative.Submitted by cyh000823 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider improving the clarity and organization of your essay. For instance, the introduction could be more explicitly stated, and the conclusion could more effectively summarize the key points discussed.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples and avoid repetition. This will help make your argument more compelling. For instance, citing specific instances of young leaders making significant changes or facing particular challenges would strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Polishing these aspects will enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have effectively identified relevant factors contributing to younger leaders and provided clear arguments for both benefits and drawbacks.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, and the points made are insightful and relevant.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is generally logical, and the transitions between ideas are smooth, aiding the overall coherence.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite