IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
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Some people believe that parents of
children
 who attend private
schools
 should not have to pay
taxes
 that support public
schools
. Personally, I completely disagree with
this
 view.
Firstly
, state-supported
education
 benefits everyone. Public
schools
 provide
education
 for all
children
.
For example
, people who do not have any
children
 might
also
 want to avoid paying for
education
taxes
.
This
 would make it hard for the government to fund crucial services
such
 as
schools
, healthcare and transport which everyone relies on.
Secondly
, public school funding
taxes
 ensure that all
children
 get a fair chance. If only families using public
schools
 paid for them,
schools
 in wealthy areas would have more money, and
schools
 in poor areas would have less.
This
 would make
education
 unfair. By everyone paying
taxes
, all
schools
 can the money they need
provide
Fix the infinitive
to provide
show examples
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
education
 for every child, no matter where they live. In conclusion,
while
 it might seem fair to exempt families using private
scools
Correct your spelling
schools
 from paying
taxes
 for public
education
, it would harm
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
On the other hand
, it could be unfair to other
children
 whose parents cannot afford the budget of private
schools
.
Therefore
, I disagree with the idea private school families should not pay
taxes
 for public
schools
.
Submitted by nabat4900 on

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task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the question. However, consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your argument further. This could include statistical evidence or real-life cases that support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all sentences are fully developed and connected for better fluency. For instance, 'Public schools provide education for all children' could be expanded to explain the wider social benefit of educating all children, regardless of their background.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is essential for a high band score.
logical structure
You have a logical structure, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of your argument. This enhances readability and coherence.
supported main points
You effectively argue that state-supported education benefits everyone and that public school funding ensures fairness for all children.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, particularly when discussing the broader implications for government and society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
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