the maps below show an industrial area in the town of norbiton, and planned future development of the site

the maps below show an industrial area in the town of norbiton, and planned future development of the site
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The pictures demonstrate the future face of industrial space in the town of Norbiton.
Overall
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, it can be seen there would be several changes that make the next industrial
area
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become a new place
that is
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more suitable for living,
while
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the position of
this
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area
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remains. Today, the industrial
area
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is located in the east of Norbiton town and consists of a
center
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centre
show examples
factory
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complex, a river, and a farmland
area
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. The
factory
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is placed in the middle of
this
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space, the river in the north of the
factory
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, and the farmland in the above of the river.
Besides
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that,
this
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location is dominated by a huge flat land
that is
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nothing there. In the future, the industrial
area
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will be relocated by many buildings and the main aim is to support the humans living there. The
factory
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space would be replaced by some houses, a playground, a school, a medical
center
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centre
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, and shops.
In addition
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, the farmland would be renovated by housing
that is
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connected to the road, a new shape of the simple road before.
Submitted by nirmalindah on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words area, factory with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • development
  • infrastructure
  • manufacturing
  • facilities
  • transition
  • planning
  • commercial
  • residential
  • renovation
  • urban planning
  • sustainability
  • environmental impact
  • local economy
  • rejuvenation
  • construction
  • modernization
  • accessibility
  • demolition
  • gentrification
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