IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar ,which causes many health problems .Sugary products shoud be mad more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar . do you agree or disagree ?

There are several
products
Use synonyms
contain with
Wrong verb form
containing
show examples
 high calories and
Correct your spelling
sugars
sugers
Correct your spelling
sugars
, and
this
Linking Words
 in the long term will
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 badly on their bodies
.
Rephrase
badly.
show examples
 I totally agree that the
government
Use synonyms
 should do more
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
 to make
people
Use synonyms
 avoid these foods and drinks. There are
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
Change preposition
of ressons
show examples
ressons
Correct your spelling
reasons
 to prefer
products
Use synonyms
 with huge levels of
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
 even if they know that will impact
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
pessimism
Correct article usage
a pessimism
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 way
such
Linking Words
 as
obisity
Correct your spelling
obesity
,
while
Linking Words
 others more
muture
Correct your spelling
mature
 and have good knowledge about
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 harmful
products
Use synonyms
 and work hardly to avoid it and replace it with
anothers
Change to a genitive case
another's
show examples
products
Use synonyms
. Even if
people
Use synonyms
 have the full information about how bad sugar is in the long term they will clear
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
mind
Correct subject-verb agreement
minds
show examples
 when they want some, human after
Correct article usage
a rough
show examples
rough
Correct article usage
a rough
show examples
 day may think that type of food is a delightful treat. I see
my self
Correct your spelling
myself
show examples
, I know that these
product
Change the determiner
products
show examples
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
additives and persuasive and I consistently eat
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 when I feel depressed, for more
intence
Correct your spelling
intense
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 who care about not
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 fat and
over- weight
Correct your spelling
over-weight
show examples
 eat
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this product
these products
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 when they feel not good and
that is
Linking Words
 fine if it is in
balance
Add an article
a balance
show examples
 way. I believe that eating without thinking about the consequences will create multiple issues
such
Linking Words
 as obesity and laziness and both mental,
physical
Correct word choice
and physical
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 health issues like
forgot
Wrong verb form
forgetting
show examples
 information and
no
Add a missing verb
having no
show examples
 ability to do exercises. Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 interested in healthy perhaps it is only
terndy
Correct your spelling
trendy
 but, there is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 impact
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that trend and that
Linking Words
due
Add a missing verb
is due
show examples
 to the fact that society become more intelligent about healthy
products
Use synonyms
 and the way they can be more beautiful and fancy,
for example
Linking Words
, these days there are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of influencer that influence on
people
Use synonyms
 and they
atend
Correct your spelling
tend
attend
 to have
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 foods and drinks and
this
Linking Words
 well
conect
Correct your spelling
connect
connected
 with the main idea that I try to write it,
government
Use synonyms
 should collaborate and reduce the price of healthy food
beacuase
Correct your spelling
because
 there are uncountable
people
Use synonyms
 how would by it if it is
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
cheaper, For clear
this
Linking Words
 idea I could say that if the
government
Use synonyms
 do the opposite, increasing Unhealthy
products
Use synonyms
 and in the same time full out price with
healthy
Add an article
the healthy
a healthy
show examples
 product
then
Linking Words
 it will achieve a balance with no losses. In the end, I know that unhealthy
products
Use synonyms
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 delicious than healthy foods but if
people
Use synonyms
 have
another options
Replace the adjective
another option
other options
show examples
with low prices may they change their
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 and prefer
the low sugars
Replace the word
low-sugar
show examples
products
Use synonyms
.
government
Use synonyms
 must do something about
this
Linking Words
 issue and
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to avoid the problems
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
show examples
happens
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
 in the future.

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grammar
Pay more attention to grammar and sentence structure. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors. This can affect the overall clarity of your argument.
structure
Work on improving your paragraph structure. Clearly distinguish between points and avoid run-on sentences to enhance the readability of your essay.
examples
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
task response
You have successfully addressed the prompt and included relevant points to discuss the issue.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and help to frame your essay, providing a clear beginning and ending.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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