Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar ,which causes many health problems .Sugary products shoud be mad more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar . do you agree or disagree ?
There are several
products
contain with
high calories and Wrong verb form
containing
Correct your spelling
sugars
sugers
, and Correct your spelling
sugars
this
in the long term will Correct your spelling
affect
effect
badly on their bodiesCorrect your spelling
affect
.
I totally agree that the Rephrase
badly.
government
should do more process
to make Fix the agreement mistake
processes
people
avoid these foods and drinks. There are variety
Correct article usage
a variety
Change preposition
of ressons
ressons
to prefer Correct your spelling
reasons
products
with huge levels of suger
even if they know that will impact Correct your spelling
sugar
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
pessimism
way Correct article usage
a pessimism
such
as obisity
, Correct your spelling
obesity
while
others more muture
and have good knowledge about Correct your spelling
mature
that
harmful Correct determiner usage
those
products
and work hardly to avoid it and replace it with anothers
Change to a genitive case
another's
products
.
Even if people
have the full information about how bad sugar is in the long term they will clear Correct your spelling
their
there
Correct your spelling
their
mind
when they want some, human after Correct subject-verb agreement
minds
Correct article usage
a rough
rough
day may think that type of food is a delightful treat. I see Correct article usage
a rough
my self
, I know that these Correct your spelling
myself
product
Change the determiner
products
contain
Change the verb form
contains
with
additives and persuasive and I consistently eat Change preposition
apply
it
when I feel depressed, for more Correct pronoun usage
them
intence
, Correct your spelling
intense
people
who care about not get
fat and Wrong verb form
getting
over- weight
eat Correct your spelling
over-weight
this
Change the determiner
this product
these products
products
when they feel not good and that is
fine if it is in balance
way.
I believe that eating without thinking about the consequences will create multiple issues Add an article
a balance
such
as obesity and laziness and both mental, physical
health issues like Correct word choice
and physical
forgot
information and Wrong verb form
forgetting
no
ability to do exercises. Nowadays, Add a missing verb
having no
people
more
interested in healthy perhaps it is only Add a missing verb
are more
terndy
but, there is Correct your spelling
trendy
good
impact Correct article usage
a good
about
that trend and that Change preposition
of
due
to the fact that society become more intelligent about healthy Add a missing verb
is due
products
and the way they can be more beautiful and fancy, for example
, these days there are alot
of influencer that influence on Correct your spelling
a lot
people
and they atend
to have Correct your spelling
tend
attend
high quality
foods and drinks and Add a hyphen
high-quality
this
well conect
with the main idea that I try to write it, Correct your spelling
connect
connected
government
should collaborate and reduce the price of healthy food beacuase
there are uncountable Correct your spelling
because
people
how would by it if it is more
cheaper, For clear Change the word
apply
this
idea I could say that if the government
do the opposite, increasing Unhealthy products
and in the same time full out price with healthy
product Add an article
the healthy
a healthy
then
it will achieve a balance with no losses.
In the end, I know that unhealthy products
more
delicious than healthy foods but if Add a missing verb
are more
people
have another options
with low prices may they change their Replace the adjective
another option
other options
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
mind
and prefer Fix the agreement mistake
minds
the low sugars
Replace the word
low-sugar
products
. government
must do something about this
issue and this
to avoid the problems Correct pronoun usage
apply
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
happens
in the future.Change the verb form
happen
Submitted by shahad.san966 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Pay more attention to grammar and sentence structure. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors. This can affect the overall clarity of your argument.
structure
Work on improving your paragraph structure. Clearly distinguish between points and avoid run-on sentences to enhance the readability of your essay.
examples
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
task response
You have successfully addressed the prompt and included relevant points to discuss the issue.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and help to frame your essay, providing a clear beginning and ending.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.