IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table illustrates the proportion of monthly household income five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing and entertainment. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The table illustrates the proportion of monthly household income five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing and entertainment. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
#proportion #household #income #five #european #countries #food #drink #entertainment #information #features #comparison
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The given table illustrates the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
household income in five
countries
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 spent on
food
Use synonyms
 and drink ,housing, clothing and entertainment.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 U.K. Workers spend the most on housing with 37%
due to
Linking Words
 the high population compared to
size
Correct article usage
the size
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
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 country
To begin
Linking Words
 with
food
Use synonyms
 and drink, Turkey takes first as
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 nation that
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
 on it with 37%
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of their gross income,
However
Linking Words
, Germany is the least country that spends on
food
Use synonyms
 and drinks, probably because German's farming and agriculture
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more developed than Turkish's,
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, German employees spend on clothing and entertainment more than all the other
countries
Use synonyms
 in the table above.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Spain and Turkey pay the lowest
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housing,
due to
Linking Words
low
Correct article usage
the low
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 demand
on renting
Change preposition
for rent
show examples
 in the two
countries
Use synonyms
,
In addition
Linking Words
, Spain and France are
also
Linking Words
 the least
countries
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 workers spend their money on clothing.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the prices of
food
Use synonyms
 and drinks
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the highest in Spain and Turkey
due to
Linking Words
 the
significant
Change the adjective
significantly
show examples
 high percentage of their income
that is
Linking Words
 spent on it.
Submitted by yazanalt523 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to, that is".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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