Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #history #school #subjects #today’s #world #science #technology

Some people argue that

courses

history

should be a top priority in the school curriculum,

whereas

others claim that nowadays

courses

related to

science

and

technology

have greater importance than

history

classes. I agree with

latter

Add an article

the latter

show examples

opinion because those who focus on disciplines related to

science

and

technology

can earn higher salaries in the

future

. On the one hand, it can be argued that

courses

history

can foster patriotism in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young

students

This

is because by attending

Change preposition

apply

show examples

history

courses

, young people can learn and know that without their ancestors' sacrifice, blood and hard work, they would not be able to live the type of lifestyle they are living now.

As a result

, their love for their nation will develop day by day and want to give back to their country.

However

, I think

history

classes can not provide

necessary

Correct article usage

the necessary

show examples

skills for

further

development and to contribute to their nation, which makes patriotism useless.

On the other hand

students

who put much effort into

courses

science

and

technology

will have a better chance

Change preposition

show examples

secturing

Correct your spelling

securing

a high-paid positions

Correct the article-noun agreement

a high-paid position

high-paid positions

show examples

in the

future

. The reason is that these

courses

train their ability to be innovative and to invent something new, and with

this

ability, they will be able to bring innovation to their

future

employers.

Consequently

, employers in turn will promote them to bigger salaries.

For example

, computer software engineers at Google get paid 155,000 dollars a year. I agree with

this

statement because the only reason

students

Correct your spelling

to school is

getting

Change the verb form

to get

show examples

a high-paying job in the

future

. In conclusion,

while

history

courses

can turn

students

into patriots, I believe classes related to

science

and

technology

are more important by helping to get

high-paid

Correct your spelling

high-paying

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

Submitted by dnm.best on Fri Jun 21 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider expanding on the reasoning behind why history fosters patriotism while maintaining a balanced argument for both sides.

Task Response

More specific examples and details could strengthen the essay. For instance, elaborate on the practical applications of science and technology education.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure all arguments flow smoothly from one to another. Some transitions between points could be made clearer.

Task Response

Clear and straightforward thesis statement that outlines the writer's opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Well-organized essay structure with distinct paragraphs for different points.

Task Response

Relevant examples provided to support the arguments, such as the salary of computer software engineers at Google.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural heritage
Historical perspective
Analytical skills
Contextual understanding
Technological advancements
STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
Innovation
Interdisciplinary
Job market
Climate crisis
Cultural identity
Critical thinking
Humanities
Contemporary issues
Integration
Tech-savvy

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
The illustrations below show how chocolate is produced
The infographic illustrates the procedure of chocolate.
6
band
Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people assert that the young generation is inappropriate for significant roles in government while others think that it will be a good situation for younger people to take on their positions. There is a persuasive agreement that more and more young people should participate in crucial positions within the government.
7
band
You should spend about 40 mins. Write about the following topic: Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?
The vast majority of people believe that cell phones should be prohibited in several locations like libraries, shopping centres and public transportation.I do completely agree with the statement as I think that these devices can be destructive for the users and can make others concerned about their misuse in specific locations.
<4
band
Private car ownership has been increasing over the past few decades. This has given ordinary people greater mobility, but has also led to concerns about traffic congestion and air pollution. Do the advantages of private car ownership outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true that personal vehicles have been rising over the past few decades. This has given common population larger mobility , but has also led to concerns related to increased emissions contributing to air pollution and traffic congestion. It is my belief that the positive effects of private car ownership certainly outweigh its disadvantages.
5.5
band
In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature) and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this trend need to be changed?
In today’s society, the majority think girls are more likely to choose arts subjects such as literature while boys tend to choose science subjects like physics in schools and universities. In this essay, I will identify the reasons for the case and whether I think this trend should be altered.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The illustrations below show how chocolate is produced

Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should spend about 40 mins. Write about the following topic: Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

Private car ownership has been increasing over the past few decades. This has given ordinary people greater mobility, but has also led to concerns about traffic congestion and air pollution. Do the advantages of private car ownership outweigh the disadvantages?

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature) and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this trend need to be changed?