Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or the military. Others think that women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

On one hand, we have

the

Correct article usage

those

show examples

ones

voting

Verb problem

argue

show examples

for equal treatment argue that job applications shouldn’t be decided on gender, but rather

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

ability of each individual. They believe that many

women

Use synonyms

have the physical and mental capabilities to perform demanding tasks.

Also

Linking Words

, military and police

work

Use synonyms

does not only rely on physical

strength

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, but

also

Linking Words

improvisation

Change preposition

on improvisation

show examples

, communication, decision making, and more. From

this

Linking Words

viewpoint, completely cutting

women

Use synonyms

might mean missing out on talented and capable

people

Use synonyms

suited for these careers. More than that, equal opportunities promote equality and fairness.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

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think that

women

Use synonyms

aren’t suitable for these careers

due to

Linking Words

biology and muscle

compositions

Fix the agreement mistake

composition

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. These roles often require physical endurance, upper-lower body

strength

Use synonyms

and the ability to

work

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in dangerous, unforgiving situations. On average, men have more muscle mass and physical

strength

Use synonyms

, which

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

them the upper hand

Change preposition

show examples

skills

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

like hand-to-hand combat, carrying heavy loads of equipment, and enduring extreme stress. Some argue that lowering the physical standards for

women

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might impact the

overall

Linking Words

efficiency of the military and police. In my opinion,

while

Linking Words

a variety of

women

Use synonyms

are capable in many careers, police and military

work

Use synonyms

places

Correct subject-verb agreement

place

show examples

a really high standard for physical and mental

strength

Use synonyms

for individuals. Because these jobs are directly connected to security and public safety, the focus should be on physical readiness

instead

Linking Words

of equality.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is understandable why some

people

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believe that

women

Use synonyms

aren’t suitable for these roles, especially when the population’s safety is on the line. In conclusion, both sides provide valid arguments on the matter, but the concerns of physical capabilities and efficiency explain why some

people

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oppose

women

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working in these

work

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environments.

apichaya4768

Jun 22, 2024

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structure

Start with a short intro that restates the task in your own words.

structure

Make your main view clear early and keep it steady through the essay.

content

Give more balanced ideas and examples for both sides.

vocabulary

Use simple, common words and avoid hard or long phrases.

structure

Finish with a clear closing sentence that repeats your view.

structure

The text uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two views.

content

You state your own view, and you give a conclusion.

content

The essay talks about real points such as strength and safety.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or the military. Others think that women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”

In many countries, old or traditional languages are dying out or being forgotten, especially by younger people. Is this an acceptable development which occurs inevitably, or is it something which we should try to prevent?

In some countries, students live with their family while studying at a university. In other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from the family home while attending university outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enroll in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax provate car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?