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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart details the percentage of internet users according to nation and the pie chart delineates how much individuals from those same countries spent on average shopping online.

The bar chart details the percentage of internet users according to nation and the pie chart delineates how much individuals from those same countries spent on average shopping online.
The graph illustrates the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who
use
Use synonyms
 the
internet
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 countries and the pie chart demonstrates the amount of these
people
Use synonyms
’s expenses on online shopping.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there is a correlation between how many
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 and how much they spend on online shopping.
While
Linking Words
 Swedish
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 the most, Spain is the country with the least
internet
Use synonyms
 usage. In terms of spending on shopping online,
people
Use synonyms
 from the UK spend the most,
whereas
Linking Words
 Spanish
people
Use synonyms
’s expenditure is the least. The number of
people
Use synonyms
 who
use
Use synonyms
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 accounts for 35% in Sweden, followed by the UK with 20%. Meanwhile, French and German
people
Use synonyms
’s
internet
Use synonyms
 usage amounts to 10% and 15% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, Spain is the
last
Linking Words
 with 5%. The highest percentage for online shopping belongs to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 with 87%, followed by Sweden with 76%. Of all countries, Germany and France show average tendencies that account for 46% and 57%,
Linking Words
accordingly
Rephrase
respectively
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, Spanish
people
Use synonyms
 are the
last
Linking Words
 in terms of their online shopping habits with 10%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, use, internet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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