Some people tend to take temporary jobs (they only work for few months of year), for they have time to do other things. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

These days,It is becoming more and more popular for
people
to take brief
jobs
in the world.As a matter of fact,many
population
Change to a plural noun
populations
show examples
might decide to
work
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
some
time
of the
year
because of personal circumstances.Actually,there are a lot of advantages and disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
avoiding
permenant
Correct your spelling
permanent
jobs
.In
this
essay,I will address some pros and cons of selecting short_lived
jobs
and
also
I will draw my opinion. Let's begin by looking at some benefits of doing temporary
jobs
.First of all,the community who
work
some months of the
year
may have a lot of
time
to do many interesting activities.It is believed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
doing limited
jobs
can expand new opportunities like learning
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
instruments or travelling to spectacular places.Another notable merit is that the population with limited
jobs
could choose their beloved
jobs
during the
year
.Generally speaking,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
prefer to select
well_paid
Correct your spelling
well-paid
jobs
even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
are demanding
jobs
. Turning to the other side of the argument,having temporary
jobs
might be boring because of having plenty of free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
during the
year
.Clearly,some
people
who used to
work
permenantly
Correct your spelling
permanently
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would be exhausted
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
staying at home for extra
time
.Another striking disadvantage is that the folk may not be able to get an appropriate job with excellent
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
.
In other words
,they would lose the opportunities
of receiving
Change preposition
to receive
show examples
proper
jobs
because of changing them
among
Change preposition
over
show examples
the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
.
To conclude
,despite the fact that the
people
who get a brief job have a lot of
time
and
also
have accessibility to do their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
work
,It may be tiring and less salary.In my view,the benefits of having
short_lived
Correct your spelling
short-lived
jobs
can outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure smooth transitions to maintain coherence.
task response
Work on spelling and grammar accuracy to avoid misunderstandings. For example, 'permanent' and 'permanently' were misspelled as 'permenant' and 'permenantly'.
task response
Develop each point with more specific examples to enhance the argument. This will help in making the essay more engaging and persuasive.
task response
The essay clearly addresses the advantages and disadvantages of taking temporary jobs, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are present and effective, providing a clear overview and summary of the essay.
coherence
Main points are generally well-supported, making the argument reasonably strong.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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