Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Naturally
ladies are giving more concern to the Add a comma
Naturally,
children’s
to compare with gents Unnecessary verb
children
therefore
women’s
are not giving priority to their job Change noun form
women
carrier
. I completely agree with Correct your spelling
career
this
statement of this
essay by giving the below mentioned
points.
Beginning of the world ladies only Add a hyphen
below-mentioned
taking
care of their children, because Wrong verb form
took
women
has
carrying Verb problem
were
baby
during their pregnancy Fix the agreement mistake
babies
time
. So, naturally
they have more emotional Add a comma
naturally,
bond
with their Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
child
to compare with men. Child
is Add an article
The child
A child
most
precious gift from Correct article usage
the most
the
God in nature most of Correct article usage
apply
child
’s are to much attraction
Replace the word
attractive
with
their mother than Change preposition
to
the
father. Change the word
their
Furthermore
, genetically child is having
naturally to much affection with their mother because the mother is one of the persons to Wrong verb form
children
feeding
milk to Wrong verb form
feeds
Correct article usage
the child
child
during their born period.
Nowadays societies are Fix the agreement mistake
children
developed
Wrong verb form
developing
a
day by day in each family Correct article usage
apply
husband
are roaming Fix the agreement mistake
husbands
outsides
much Replace the word
outside
time
for their job. Thus
, of
these Change preposition
for
reasons
gents Add a comma
reasons,
are
not Verb problem
do
having
adequate Wrong verb form
have
time
for monitoring
their children more than Change preposition
to monitor
women
. Some homes men and women
both of them are working in that situation ladies are confronting more tough situation
daily even Fix the agreement mistake
situations
they
don’t have Correct word choice
though they
time
to do their personnel
Replace the word
personal
activity
. Most Fix the agreement mistake
activities
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
women
are
sacrifice their entire Unnecessary verb
apply
carrier
for Correct your spelling
careers
her
children and Correct pronoun usage
their
family
.
Fix the agreement mistake
families
To sum up
of
Change preposition
apply
this
statement for caring of
Change preposition
for
children’s
and family Change noun form
children
women
are
not Verb problem
do
having
enough Wrong verb form
have
time
to spent
Wrong verb form
spend
for
their personal Change preposition
on
carrier
growth. All the Correct your spelling
career
women
are most
respectable person in Add an article
the most
a most
this
universe because they can give a
birth to all humans. Remove the article
apply
Thus
, of this
cause
Add a comma
cause,
women
can only possible
Change the word
possibly
to
care Fix the infinitive
apply
Change preposition
for her
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
child
more than Fix the agreement mistake
children
the
men.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
Your essay lacks clarity in several areas. Make sure to clearly state your position and consistently support it throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your arguments. This helps strengthen your essay and make it more convincing.
language
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to improve readability. Using varied sentence structures can increase the quality of your writing.
coherence & cohesion
Organize your ideas logically. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and support that idea consistently.
coherence & cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide structure to your work.
task achievement
You have shown an understanding of the topic and attempted to address the main points.
task achievement
There is an evident effort to argue your viewpoint, which is good for task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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