Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behavior. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.

Part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
that kids should
be punish
Change the verb form
be punished
show examples
when they misbehave.
Nevertheless
, I think that
better
Correct article usage
the better
show examples
option is that kids get a gift when they do a good thing, because they will love to do that good thing again. On the first hand, it seems to me that when children should
be punish
Change the verb form
be punished
show examples
when they do a bad thing is a bad idea,
due to
the fact that he is just
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a small age and
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
don't know the
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
between the right and the wrong hance, he
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
his parent to teach him the difference between them. For a clear example, if the mother or the father
punshed
Correct your spelling
punishes
him
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
son and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not tell them the reason or he
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not understand what the bad thing
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
he did he will
going to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
hate himself and
also
his parent.
On the other hand
, children should be rewarded when they
behaved
Wrong verb form
behave
show examples
good
Change the word
well
show examples
,
due to
the fact that they will understand and know that what they
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
doing is a nice thing.
Moreover
, they will
going
Change the verb form
go
be going
show examples
to be extremely
excaited
Correct your spelling
excited
to behave
good
Change the word
well
show examples
and do good things.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
when
this
child grows up he will be a
secssful
Correct your spelling
successful
person. In conclusion,
this
essay discussed that children should get rewarded when they behave
good
Change the word
well
show examples
and the other view if they should be punished when they misbehave and that was the better view to me. Many people need more information about
this
topic. It is better to exchange our experiences about
this
issue.
Submitted by ryalhamdan on

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clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and elaborate on your main points. Some sentences are unclear and need more explanation to make your arguments more persuasive.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios can make your arguments more compelling.
overall grammar
Ensure your sentences are grammatically correct and clear. There are several grammatical errors that can be confusing to the reader.
logical structure
Work on your sentence structure and vocabulary to improve coherence. Try to connect your ideas more smoothly and logically.
introduction conclusion present
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your essay.
complete response
You have touched upon both views on the topic, which shows a balanced understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Behavioral motivation
  • Praise
  • Extrinsic motivation
  • Internal discipline
  • Consequences
  • Time-outs
  • Removal of privileges
  • Logical consequences
  • Psychological effects
  • Child-parent relationship
  • Negative reinforcement
  • Consistency
  • Fairness
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