Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behavior. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.
Part of
the
society Correct article usage
apply
believe
that kids should Change the verb form
believes
be punish
when they misbehave. Change the verb form
be punished
Nevertheless
, I think that better
option is that kids get a gift when they do a good thing, because they will love to do that good thing again.
On the first hand, it seems to me that when children should Correct article usage
the better
be punish
when they do a bad thing is a bad idea, Change the verb form
be punished
due to
the fact that he is just in
a small age and Change preposition
apply
he
don't know the Correct pronoun usage
they
different
between the right and the wrong hance, he Replace the word
difference
need
his parent to teach him the difference between them. For a clear example, if the mother or the father Change the verb form
needs
punshed
Correct your spelling
punishes
him
son and Correct pronoun usage
his
do
not tell them the reason or he Correct subject-verb agreement
does
do
not understand what the bad thing Change the verb form
does
has
he did he will Unnecessary verb
apply
going to
hate himself and Verb problem
apply
also
his parent.
On the other hand
, children should be rewarded when they behaved
Wrong verb form
behave
good
, Change the word
well
due to
the fact that they will understand and know that what they were
doing is a nice thing. Wrong verb form
are
Moreover
, they will going
to be extremely Change the verb form
go
be going
excaited
to behave Correct your spelling
excited
good
and do good things. Change the word
well
Also
Add a comma
Also,
this
when Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
child grows up he will be a secssful
person.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
successful
this
essay discussed that children should get rewarded when they behave good
and the other view if they should be punished when they misbehave and that was the better view to me. Many people need more information about Change the word
well
this
topic. It is better to exchange our experiences about this
issue.Submitted by ryalhamdan on
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clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and elaborate on your main points. Some sentences are unclear and need more explanation to make your arguments more persuasive.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios can make your arguments more compelling.
overall grammar
Ensure your sentences are grammatically correct and clear. There are several grammatical errors that can be confusing to the reader.
logical structure
Work on your sentence structure and vocabulary to improve coherence. Try to connect your ideas more smoothly and logically.
introduction conclusion present
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your essay.
complete response
You have touched upon both views on the topic, which shows a balanced understanding of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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