The charts below show what UK graduate and post graduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. TASK 1

The charts below show what UK graduate and post graduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. TASK 1
The bar graph illustrates the change that happened in the period 2008 among graduates and postgraduates later relieved from UK universities by excluding the full-time workers.
Overall
, The volume of students who participated in graduation showed the highest involvement in all activities
such
as part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, voluntary
work
,
further
study
and unemployment,
while
post-
study
study
sharply declined through the year
subsequently
Correct word choice
and subsequently
show examples
did not exceed the lowest count of voluntary
work
in graduate activity. The majority
juniors
Change preposition
of juniors
show examples
given
Add a missing verb
were given
show examples
higher priority to
further
study
which peaked
up to
Change preposition
at
show examples
29665 in the year 2008.
Moreover
, the second most popular was part-time reached till 17,735.
Additionally
, the amount of unemployment rose to 16235 slightly less than half-day employment.
Nevertheless
, voluntary
work
displays the least significant undeveloped field around 3500 proportional to other sectors. After all, postgraduate interest in sectors other than full-time represented the least contribution throughout the year. In the meantime,none of them ever exceeded the lowest bothered voluntary
work
in the graduate list but the one that reached the highest level was the
further
study
category (2725). Rest all made up the lowest size including part-time , unemployment and voluntary
work
to 2535, 1621, and 345 respectively.
Submitted by kiruthikakannan.pid on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, study with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

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